[Jamie Lee]

Yea she probably didnt love me in the first place i dont want to say she did i dont want to she didnt.. Because i want to think she really did but i really think that the relationship was to rushed. It was just one of those oh man we both find each other attractive lets date. But yea im going to continue pm and i will only date girls who dont mind it and let them know before hand. Am i trans? Still dont think i am.. But who knows im just gonna continue pm and see what happens..Life is kind of weird but i just want to be a pretty boy so thats what im gonna do lol maybe ill write more later i kind of like writing my feelings and what not on this journey my mind is just kind of blocked rn i guess

Hi Jamie Lee,

I have been reading some of this thread and thinking on things, especially in my own life and I wonder if we go into relationships with .... fairy tale expectations.   Don't get me wrong I mean no negative thing, and you sound just like me, but....now I'm looking at it different I think ... let me explain. Love or what I consider being loved ... in a very basic kind of explanation is when I'm in a bad way ... and you care enough to help and vice versa.  Now I know this is a very limited statement but I think it can present a broad enough thought if it dwells.

I grew up with completely different expectations and teachings than where I am now, and the reality of things was certainly a surprise. Walking down the streets of Cambridge MA long ago for lunch I remember a troop of girls behind us discussing where the richest kids at school could be found and you know ... how to marry one.   I yi yi     you just never really know ... now do you ... till the SHTF.  So I take every thing with a grain of salt add a pinch of benefit of the doubt and I'll hug you anyway for now kind of attitude now. Then save my best for the ones that show me they are the stuff I dream of.  

When it comes right down to it, our time is already up, it goes by so fast!!!! Do you really have time for BS?  These are the questions I ask myself now as I age.   WTF I WAS SO STUPID when I was young, I had no idea that the time was NOW and that after 25 yer on the down slope....LOL oh....who designed Humans?!?  100 years is not enough!!

Now, I will take lovers  ....  but true love involves pain Jamie Lee, ... who has suffered for you? them ... you honor.

OK spelling edit done...DOH

Whats "the SHTF"  And yea thats true time is of the essence you really dont have to much time to mess up lol. Life is way to insane to be honest but im still here for the ride for now. And yea i can relate to the complete different expectations and teachings i feel... also yea i think the fairy tale expectation is also true with relationships but me and my gf actually worked things out so im happy i can have best of both worlds now . Like i never expected to be like this when im 18 wanting big boobs and being a pretty boy LOL I thought i was going to be some muscular kpop star lmao..