22-05-2017, 01:19 PM
So, I found this local organization that supports transgender people, and assists with the process of transitioning. I have just returned from my first, albeit short & concise, meeting. The person that I dealt with is a transgender woman who is very feminine in all aspects. I honestly felt like a neanderthal ape overdosed on testosterone next to her. I'm certainly not an alpha male, and I have feminine-like body language, but I'm definitely not girly.
The emotions that I experienced driving away from the meeting are totally foreign to me. I felt inadequate and I started thinking that I'm only fooling myself that I could ever truly be female gendered. My reality is that I don't mind my male genitalia, but my mind is screaming female, to the point of desperation. There has been talk on this forum about the head noise; I have been obsessed and have thought of nothing else for at least six months after realizing that I may have an identity issue - the head noise is driving me crazy.
I'm physically at the point of tears, and I'm literally experiencing heartache at the flicker of doubt regarding my femininity.
The emotions that I experienced driving away from the meeting are totally foreign to me. I felt inadequate and I started thinking that I'm only fooling myself that I could ever truly be female gendered. My reality is that I don't mind my male genitalia, but my mind is screaming female, to the point of desperation. There has been talk on this forum about the head noise; I have been obsessed and have thought of nothing else for at least six months after realizing that I may have an identity issue - the head noise is driving me crazy.
I'm physically at the point of tears, and I'm literally experiencing heartache at the flicker of doubt regarding my femininity.