Holy smokes Oki! Your breasts are amazing!
Beautiful shape and, like Poly said, the size fits your frame perfectly.
It sounds like your suffering from buyers remorse, you wanted beautiful breast and a more feminine look and you got it.
Sounds like its time to sit down with your self and have a chat with where the future is heading. Write it down, and visit it often.
Next you should see a therapist to get a professional opinion and some guidance.
Most of all we are here, and many of us have (are) going down the same wiggly path. Your not alone!
As for missing the spa's, well just think of how you will wow them at the topless beaches!
Look forward not back.
Hugs
Bobbi