19-11-2016, 11:12 PM
Thanks everyone for your input. This is exactly what I had in mind - to express my thoughts and get some feedback. Thank you once again...
Now while reading my text again I realised it looks like I am indeed leaning towards the possibility that I am TS. However, it it not the case. I am just exploring my options. Clearly, some shift in me has been happening for some time. I am not satisfied with my current understanding and expression of my gender. I just want to learn about myself and what exactly I need to change to feel more whole... Gut feeling, emotions, desires and even thoughts can be deceptive. I don't dismiss any of three stated hypotheses. I just have to test them, find things that help to support or deny each of them. And when I find the most probable one, to explore how to change to be more satisfied. For each of those three possibilities there are again several possible courses of action...
Jannet & Julie > Yes, you are right. That is exactly why I decided to make an appointment with the therapist.
Pansy-Mae > Thank you for your input. I don't dismiss the possibility of PM clouding my judgement. However, I think that in some people, pink fog, or "gender euphoria" can appear even without exogenous substances. I think that I am such person. It means that our desires really can't be trusted.
Another possibility is that PM or HRT causes the shift of mental processes towards being willing to transition only in sensitive persons. Than if HRT is commenced in such person, they will switch to being TS and transition. From what I know from several sources, even in those late onset individuals transition is rather positive. Then, in those cases, isn't the pink-fog positive? Just playing advocatus diaboli.
Poly
Now while reading my text again I realised it looks like I am indeed leaning towards the possibility that I am TS. However, it it not the case. I am just exploring my options. Clearly, some shift in me has been happening for some time. I am not satisfied with my current understanding and expression of my gender. I just want to learn about myself and what exactly I need to change to feel more whole... Gut feeling, emotions, desires and even thoughts can be deceptive. I don't dismiss any of three stated hypotheses. I just have to test them, find things that help to support or deny each of them. And when I find the most probable one, to explore how to change to be more satisfied. For each of those three possibilities there are again several possible courses of action...
Jannet & Julie > Yes, you are right. That is exactly why I decided to make an appointment with the therapist.
Pansy-Mae > Thank you for your input. I don't dismiss the possibility of PM clouding my judgement. However, I think that in some people, pink fog, or "gender euphoria" can appear even without exogenous substances. I think that I am such person. It means that our desires really can't be trusted.
Another possibility is that PM or HRT causes the shift of mental processes towards being willing to transition only in sensitive persons. Than if HRT is commenced in such person, they will switch to being TS and transition. From what I know from several sources, even in those late onset individuals transition is rather positive. Then, in those cases, isn't the pink-fog positive? Just playing advocatus diaboli.
Poly