19-11-2016, 08:19 PM
Poly,
I can't give any specific guidance, this whole thing is intensely personal, as we all know.
However FWIW, I can relate to an awful lot of what you have said - my first remembered wish to CD ocurred when I was 4 or 5 but my mother used to recount anecdotes from even earlier. I have had on/off periods all my life, but at around the age of 20 I sat myself down and worked through what I wanted, what I was and wasn't. I came to the conclusion back then ( nearly 50 years ago) that I was NOT a 'transexual' ( to use the only expression that existed back then), and that I would just live with the cross dressing.
6 years ago I discovered BN and then PM. I took PM for 5 years but stopped, cold turkey, 12 months ago. Whilst on PM my cross dressing mostly reduced/stopped, but is now back again full strength. Since stopping, my boobs have shrunk from almost a 36C to a full 36A. Mentally I went through a few fairly intense withdrawal symptoms for a few days at a time early this year, but they have stopped now and overall I feel more relaxed. I do suspect that I was in some way addicted to PM/E. Right now I'd give a lot to increase my bra size again, but that isn't going to happen any more than my MPB will go away! ( actually I think I'd trade my boobs for a full head of long hair!
)
Dunno if any of that helps, but I really do think PM clouds our mental processes - the Pink Fog that gets mentoned sometimes - and although I don't judge or criticise anyone who makes the choice to go all the way, I'm not convinced that everyone is thinking straight when making that decision.
I can't give any specific guidance, this whole thing is intensely personal, as we all know.
However FWIW, I can relate to an awful lot of what you have said - my first remembered wish to CD ocurred when I was 4 or 5 but my mother used to recount anecdotes from even earlier. I have had on/off periods all my life, but at around the age of 20 I sat myself down and worked through what I wanted, what I was and wasn't. I came to the conclusion back then ( nearly 50 years ago) that I was NOT a 'transexual' ( to use the only expression that existed back then), and that I would just live with the cross dressing.
6 years ago I discovered BN and then PM. I took PM for 5 years but stopped, cold turkey, 12 months ago. Whilst on PM my cross dressing mostly reduced/stopped, but is now back again full strength. Since stopping, my boobs have shrunk from almost a 36C to a full 36A. Mentally I went through a few fairly intense withdrawal symptoms for a few days at a time early this year, but they have stopped now and overall I feel more relaxed. I do suspect that I was in some way addicted to PM/E. Right now I'd give a lot to increase my bra size again, but that isn't going to happen any more than my MPB will go away! ( actually I think I'd trade my boobs for a full head of long hair!
)Dunno if any of that helps, but I really do think PM clouds our mental processes - the Pink Fog that gets mentoned sometimes - and although I don't judge or criticise anyone who makes the choice to go all the way, I'm not convinced that everyone is thinking straight when making that decision.