07-06-2016, 02:08 PM
I had to chime in here, but I have no idea what I am going to say. I will let my finger do the walking and see where i end up. Maybe in a strait jacket, maybe with a little personal peace.
Being 50 something like many of us here on BN, I have a much different perspective than i did when i was in my 20's and dealing with the same demons. I wish i had this wisdom and outlook back then, but as they say hind sight is 20/20,
I have accepted being trans something. Not totally a man. Not totally a woman. I like things in both worlds. I would probably be considered a "Tom Boy" (using a term from the past). I want my body to be as feminine as possible, but i do miss the strength and endurance i had before herbs and hormones did their thing. I like guns and games, but i also like pretty clothes and cooking. Being passive aggressive by nature i am submissive to my wife but tries to manipulate her to get my way.
Over time Christina has been inching out. With my wife's tacit acceptance i have become more overtly feminine to the point we are called ladies in public more times than not lately. I smile every time I hear that. At least she has stopped complaining and takes it in stride. We have taken the old DoD approach of don't ask don't tell about my transition. I have a terrible fear of rejection so I do not bring it up. But at the same time i have an over riding need to be me and live a life as a woman as much as possible. Is that so bad.
Here comes the politically incorrect part.
Outlaw bikers wear a "1%" patch to signify they are a special group. Stats say we (trans people) are about 0.3% +/- of the population. I saw an episode of Being Caitlyn (or something like that) when Ms Jenner was in a group discussion with a older trans woman who said something to the effect that Caillyn needed to be prepared for the world to look at her as a freak. That hit home. As a group that is less than 1% of the population we are freaks. Deny it all you want but we are not normal. Does that make us bad? NO. Does that make us less than human? NO Should we be given an equal amount of respect as any other person? ABSOLUTELY Should we be given preferential treatment because we are, as my wife says, "Special"? NOPE. Remember we are less than 1% of the population. We need to learn how to navigate within the accepted norms to be accepted. I have learned how to "blend" in. When i am taken as a woman in public, I smile. When perceived as a male, i am disappointed but my chromosomes are what they are and no amount of hormones, clothes and make up will change that.
I know I have pissed of some of you. I apologize if i offended those. I am just trying to face reality and deal with it in a positive way in an effort to maintain my sanity, or what is lleft of it.
So back to the original point, Being Trans.
Being trans is being me. Not totally male. Not totally female. I am sad and tired. But I have accepted I am what I am. I just wish the world would take a chill pill and accept me as me.
Peace
Christina
Being 50 something like many of us here on BN, I have a much different perspective than i did when i was in my 20's and dealing with the same demons. I wish i had this wisdom and outlook back then, but as they say hind sight is 20/20,
I have accepted being trans something. Not totally a man. Not totally a woman. I like things in both worlds. I would probably be considered a "Tom Boy" (using a term from the past). I want my body to be as feminine as possible, but i do miss the strength and endurance i had before herbs and hormones did their thing. I like guns and games, but i also like pretty clothes and cooking. Being passive aggressive by nature i am submissive to my wife but tries to manipulate her to get my way.
Over time Christina has been inching out. With my wife's tacit acceptance i have become more overtly feminine to the point we are called ladies in public more times than not lately. I smile every time I hear that. At least she has stopped complaining and takes it in stride. We have taken the old DoD approach of don't ask don't tell about my transition. I have a terrible fear of rejection so I do not bring it up. But at the same time i have an over riding need to be me and live a life as a woman as much as possible. Is that so bad.
Here comes the politically incorrect part.
Outlaw bikers wear a "1%" patch to signify they are a special group. Stats say we (trans people) are about 0.3% +/- of the population. I saw an episode of Being Caitlyn (or something like that) when Ms Jenner was in a group discussion with a older trans woman who said something to the effect that Caillyn needed to be prepared for the world to look at her as a freak. That hit home. As a group that is less than 1% of the population we are freaks. Deny it all you want but we are not normal. Does that make us bad? NO. Does that make us less than human? NO Should we be given an equal amount of respect as any other person? ABSOLUTELY Should we be given preferential treatment because we are, as my wife says, "Special"? NOPE. Remember we are less than 1% of the population. We need to learn how to navigate within the accepted norms to be accepted. I have learned how to "blend" in. When i am taken as a woman in public, I smile. When perceived as a male, i am disappointed but my chromosomes are what they are and no amount of hormones, clothes and make up will change that.
I know I have pissed of some of you. I apologize if i offended those. I am just trying to face reality and deal with it in a positive way in an effort to maintain my sanity, or what is lleft of it.
So back to the original point, Being Trans.
Being trans is being me. Not totally male. Not totally female. I am sad and tired. But I have accepted I am what I am. I just wish the world would take a chill pill and accept me as me.
Peace
Christina