[AlexisRene]

You can't explain color to the blind.

-Dianna

The above is my fav line. In contrast & peculiar thing to me is that gender in society is binary black & white interpretation. Therefore, we feel what we show on the outside must match blanket expectation.

The problem is that real people are very much a span of gray between b & w. Recent years have been more liberating in general. The umbrella label of trans or gender identity dysphoria can turn to either push back or contests of how trans one is.
Whether online or at various transgender gatherings have witnessed divides among the groups within. Have even seen some movement or groups that want gender markers thrown out completely(personally disagree with that concept). But it is out there.

My point is, just be you. Seek & define your personal goals to keep moving forward. (side note: not saying ditch the wife,kids, family, responsibilities). Am sure there are groups or counselors in most given locations of somewhat like minded individuals that can shed some light. Am from central IL & it is kind of dim here, but know there are some resources. Would think the same for IA. It is amazing & empowering the differences when meeting in person vs forums/social media.

& just for fun. Know someone mentioned make up artist Amanda in PA. She truly is great. There is a girl in Chicago that works with trans people, gender neutral, women what ever label one needs as well for anyone interested. Am sure there are many more, but just throwing the link out there just in case it helps someone. http://florinamakeupartist.com/