[emilymd]

I tried... some years ago to understand why when I was a kid I always wanted to play with girls stuff, and why then as a teenager I never felt my self comfortable with other boys, then you know hormones push you to try everything and well, yes. I did it. I tried everything, as male and female and I enjoyed them both.

Moving, what a mess... I changed countries to try new things (speaking about my job) and I had to put aside lot of things, also me and my inner me!

So one bright day,settled, a marriage and 2 kids later I closed my eyes and I asked my self what I really wanted... here I am trying to be a woman. Not sure if one day I'll do everything to be one but the point is that if I have to "privately" say if I am a man or a woman, I won't doubt it. I am a woman.

But you... it's just your decision and it's all about what you feel comfortable to be. Close your eyes, think about you and answer yourself that question. Do not try to think about what medical books and encyclopedias want you to be. Think at what you really feel to be.

OH... oh.. and I am sure you already know what is the answer!

:-)

That is a good read and thought provoking as well...

But, here is where I am at...

Up till the time, I was about 35..... I was all male.. Played fast and recreational softball, my wife and I had 3 children..

But, one fateful night, we were invited to a Costumed Halloween Party. I didn't have a clue as to what to wear. My wife suggested we both cross dress. At first, it felt creepy, weird, abnormal. But she insisted it would be fun.

It was, we had a blast at the party and got pretty snockered...LOL It is true, that if you loose count of drinks, you are past the point of no return.

Anyways, I remembered that after we got home and dismissed our babysitter, we made love.....

We both awoke in the morning, and still has traces of other's clothing on. (must of passed out after the wrestling match. he he! )

I thought I would it of felt weird, out of place, but not so much. After all, was it the fun of the party? The drinks? Or was it cross dressing??

I dabbled in cross dressing, on/off since that point, to me it was a liberating thing. But after having my heart attack, and being forced into retirement because of it... That's when it REALLY hit.

Up to the point of my start of my health problems, I always had to use breast forms, or stuffing of some sort.. But, after a year or so I developed gynecomastia, I kinda yearned for the day I would NOT need to stuff anything.

Then, I discovered that I wasn't the only weird loony person by visiting this and many other sights..... I discovered, that I wasn't weird or loony after all.

That other peeps walked to the same drummer as I did. ( In various degree's) So, in a way I have found a safe place.

For that, I owe a lot to Ellie, Lotus and too many here, too many to name. (memory is very poor anymore)

So, thanks for everyone's sincere input. And, I am sorry for such a rambling tome.