[The First Aria]

Whew, Dianna.

First off, you are not the only person who has decided to do this type of thing. I understand how frustrating things of this nature is.

Now, here is the morality preaching ...... It's Never Smart to have a live in situation that goes beyond a year or so..... It puts both on the defensive to the point of poison. There is a more permanence in marriage. The type very few couples get just "shacking up".

But, having have said that.....In a lot of States and quite a few countries, you are probably considered "Common Law". Which means you are as good as married. I would consult a lawyer if you finally decide to break it off. I think, after 10 yrs, it's silly to call her a GF or Fiancée, or anything other than your wife. (especially if you got her covered under your Med Insurance)

I would come out to her, and set everything down to her in easy understand simple sentences. To cover what you originally thought your relationship was going to be, and what it has turned into.

Figure out yourself, what would be an acceptable end of the "negotiations", rather it's finally getting married, living together but separate or continue on the roller coaster ride.. I would certainly be against the later... You and her both need to understand that presently, it's not good for anyone involved.....

I wish you luck..