17-07-2015, 01:34 PM
Hi Miranda,
I continue to find your posts interesting and informative. I have been missing that here at BN which seems to have lost most of its best posters, from my perspective anyway.
I don't disagree with you about the unnatural lumping of gender identity with sexual orientation. I think it was done for political expediency. The TG community is even more marginalized than the gay community. We do share a struggle for our civil rights, so in that sense we are on the same side.
Interestingly, now that I am perceived as a woman everywhere I go, when I'm with my spouse (I've stopped referring to her as my wife), we are perceived as a same-sex couple. So even as I shed the 'trans' label, I now have been slapped with the 'gay' label by the larger world. It seems that even if I can achieve cisgender womanhood, I have to give up being seen as hetero-normative even though my sexual orientation hasn't changed!
I'm so glad that the public is starting to see a more positive image of transsexual people. I can't say that for transgender people as a whole. Celebrities like Caitlyn Jenner and Laverne Cox are very helpful in that regard. I do believe that society will learn to embrace transsexuals before other segments of the transgender community. The reason is that being transsexual doesn't discredit or subvert the binary gender world order which, whether we like it or not, it's here to stay.
My spouse once confessed after I had come out to her, that she was glad that I was transsexual rather than a cross-dresser. When I asked why, she said that people can understand what it means to be transsexual easier than what it means to be a man who likes to pretend to be a woman. I can see that. When I tell people that I was born a female inside, but with male reproductive organs, they usually get it.
Even I have a hard time understanding what it means to be born a male, to be comfortable being a man, but have a need to express one's feminine side by dressing up in women's clothes. I accept it -- as I've said, I have many CD friends -- but I really don't understand it. And, don't ask about males who want to have real breasts! I've never heard a rational explanation, even from the members of this board. It's going to be a much harder effort for the larger TG community (non-transsexuals) to gain full societal acceptance; mainly because it makes things too complex. I agree that this dichotomy within the TG world is becoming increasingly evident. I see it happening here in this forum with the effort to segregate transsexuals from the non-transsexuals, despite transsexuals being a minority presence here.
Another difference between transgender people and their transsexual brothers and sisters is that the transsexual label is temporal. I envision the day, as you do, when I no longer call myself 'transsexual'. I see that point in time as marking the end of my transition. It will become pointless to use the qualifier 'transsexual' in identifying myself as a woman. Only for historical or medical reasons will the distinction be important. I will simply be a woman. I love the simplicity of it.
That's what I'm talking about when I use the word 'Blend' to describe my ultimate transition goal.
So, are you planning to stick around here, Miranda? I don't know about you, but I certainly don't feel welcome here anymore. I'm thinking it's probably a temporary development that will fade with time. I've submitted over 2300 posts to this forum, so I'm not some fly-by-night contributor who hasn't had an impact on the content and tenor of the discussions here.
A successful forum has to provide value if it is to survive. I know that there are people who come here in a state of confusion about their gender identity/expression who could benefit from the broad range of experience that this forum offers. I can say that because that was my own experience, and, like others have expressed, I will always keep a special place in my heart for Breast Nexus and for all the helpful people here.
Clara
I continue to find your posts interesting and informative. I have been missing that here at BN which seems to have lost most of its best posters, from my perspective anyway.
I don't disagree with you about the unnatural lumping of gender identity with sexual orientation. I think it was done for political expediency. The TG community is even more marginalized than the gay community. We do share a struggle for our civil rights, so in that sense we are on the same side.
Interestingly, now that I am perceived as a woman everywhere I go, when I'm with my spouse (I've stopped referring to her as my wife), we are perceived as a same-sex couple. So even as I shed the 'trans' label, I now have been slapped with the 'gay' label by the larger world. It seems that even if I can achieve cisgender womanhood, I have to give up being seen as hetero-normative even though my sexual orientation hasn't changed!
I'm so glad that the public is starting to see a more positive image of transsexual people. I can't say that for transgender people as a whole. Celebrities like Caitlyn Jenner and Laverne Cox are very helpful in that regard. I do believe that society will learn to embrace transsexuals before other segments of the transgender community. The reason is that being transsexual doesn't discredit or subvert the binary gender world order which, whether we like it or not, it's here to stay.
My spouse once confessed after I had come out to her, that she was glad that I was transsexual rather than a cross-dresser. When I asked why, she said that people can understand what it means to be transsexual easier than what it means to be a man who likes to pretend to be a woman. I can see that. When I tell people that I was born a female inside, but with male reproductive organs, they usually get it.
Even I have a hard time understanding what it means to be born a male, to be comfortable being a man, but have a need to express one's feminine side by dressing up in women's clothes. I accept it -- as I've said, I have many CD friends -- but I really don't understand it. And, don't ask about males who want to have real breasts! I've never heard a rational explanation, even from the members of this board. It's going to be a much harder effort for the larger TG community (non-transsexuals) to gain full societal acceptance; mainly because it makes things too complex. I agree that this dichotomy within the TG world is becoming increasingly evident. I see it happening here in this forum with the effort to segregate transsexuals from the non-transsexuals, despite transsexuals being a minority presence here.
Another difference between transgender people and their transsexual brothers and sisters is that the transsexual label is temporal. I envision the day, as you do, when I no longer call myself 'transsexual'. I see that point in time as marking the end of my transition. It will become pointless to use the qualifier 'transsexual' in identifying myself as a woman. Only for historical or medical reasons will the distinction be important. I will simply be a woman. I love the simplicity of it.
That's what I'm talking about when I use the word 'Blend' to describe my ultimate transition goal.So, are you planning to stick around here, Miranda? I don't know about you, but I certainly don't feel welcome here anymore. I'm thinking it's probably a temporary development that will fade with time. I've submitted over 2300 posts to this forum, so I'm not some fly-by-night contributor who hasn't had an impact on the content and tenor of the discussions here.
A successful forum has to provide value if it is to survive. I know that there are people who come here in a state of confusion about their gender identity/expression who could benefit from the broad range of experience that this forum offers. I can say that because that was my own experience, and, like others have expressed, I will always keep a special place in my heart for Breast Nexus and for all the helpful people here.
Clara