[bryony]

Any thoughts on bi gendered?

I don't think she posts here anymore, but I suggest reading through "Julie TG" posts. She started a number of threads regarding bi-gendered identity.

I don't know what amazes me more - someone coming here discussing his desire to chuck his wife and kids for self-satisfaction or other people advising the best way to do it.

In reference to the latter part of your statement, are you referring to someone in this particular thread or the overall pattern of the members on BN?

Would it make a difference, Flame? It's very PC nowadays to be non-judgemental, but clearly some things should be judged. Where would we be without a personal moral code? Where do you draw the line with what is right and what is wrong?

Sometimes it is right to say not "this is how you do it" but rather "should you do it?"

There are, I believe, forums, like this one, set up where groups of anorexics get together to encourage one another to starve themselves to the point of death. Is that right? Should we be non-judgemental about that? Or should we say, "no, stop, you need to get counselling"?

I think it is bad enough being dishonest to one's wife by getting married without explaining about one's gender dysphoria, and growing breasts in secret, but to do that and have sex with strangers possibly passing on STDs, maybe AIDs, is absolutely unconscionable. The morality of not judging that kind of behaviour seems to be a wafer thin distance away from encouraging it. To advise how to achieve it, to me, is to encourage it.

I've always thought that one of the reasons that I am the way I am is that I idolise women so much, in many ways because they are better than us. Time and again I see behaviour that shows how right this belief is.

We want to grow breasts; many of us want to become women, claim to actually be women, "trapped in a man's body". Why then, do so many of us abuse them? Is it a form of jealousy? Getting one's own back for having been born a man?

I think to discard a loving wife and mother for selfish reasons is the worst form of misogyny, just one step removed from the people who beat their wives black and blue.

But hey - that's just me.

B.