24-04-2015, 10:19 PM
(This post was last modified: 25-04-2015, 09:10 AM by Miranda-nata-est.)
The XX XY thing is not really cut and dried either I am afraid, I have recently had it explained to me that there is definitely a grey area with XX XY. Apparently, most of the Y chromosome is redundant but there is an SRY gene on it that codes for protein that facilitates male development (the default being female).. However, it is never that simple, there is a gene not on the Y that can change F to M development too and one on the X called DAX1 that can change M to F development. Also there are instances of men with XX and women with XY and men with XXXY. No wonder our internal experience of gender is not cut and dried.
I have come to accept that there is probably no objective definition of Male vs Female at the individual level and, as I think Clara was positing, think that it is all subjective from an individual point of view.
It is just this realisation which has helped my SO to gradually come to terms with and accept all the changes to me and between us that this journey is entailing- well certainly it has been so far, so good. As there are no absolutes, then provided we are comfortable with each other, nothing much else really matters - the one exception being that she still has difficulty with others looking at us in the street - she is having difficulty blanking out the thought that in looking at me and then us, people are making a judgement about her. Her sensitivity to this varies from day to day. So, we compromise - if it is a really tricky day for her, I'll be a bit more guarded in what I wear, at other times, the reins are off and I can wear what I choose.
I've also just booked up a solicitors appt to change my name officially from David James Brook to Miranda Jayne Brook. This has also caused her some difficulty - I am not sure she will ever get to calling me Miranda or using 'she/her'. But I can live with that. Its another small concession to keep a very, very good and close relationship alive. Oddly enough, in many ways we are even closer now than ever before and we have always been exceptionally close indeed.
Miranda
I have come to accept that there is probably no objective definition of Male vs Female at the individual level and, as I think Clara was positing, think that it is all subjective from an individual point of view.
It is just this realisation which has helped my SO to gradually come to terms with and accept all the changes to me and between us that this journey is entailing- well certainly it has been so far, so good. As there are no absolutes, then provided we are comfortable with each other, nothing much else really matters - the one exception being that she still has difficulty with others looking at us in the street - she is having difficulty blanking out the thought that in looking at me and then us, people are making a judgement about her. Her sensitivity to this varies from day to day. So, we compromise - if it is a really tricky day for her, I'll be a bit more guarded in what I wear, at other times, the reins are off and I can wear what I choose.
I've also just booked up a solicitors appt to change my name officially from David James Brook to Miranda Jayne Brook. This has also caused her some difficulty - I am not sure she will ever get to calling me Miranda or using 'she/her'. But I can live with that. Its another small concession to keep a very, very good and close relationship alive. Oddly enough, in many ways we are even closer now than ever before and we have always been exceptionally close indeed.
Miranda