24-04-2015, 02:06 AM
Thank you, Misty, for explaining your current situation.
I've often talked about transition as being a joint venture. That is, both I and my wife are transitioning together. Really, it can be no other way and hope to stay together on a solid footing. That's my opinion, anyway. I believe that's a central point in Leslie Fabian's book "My Husband is a Woman Now".
The other point I'd like to make is that transition is not an all of nothing proposition. If one's gender ID is a mix of male and female, i.e., one falls somewhere in the middle of the the gender spectrum, it's possible to find a perfectly comfortable place that straddles both the male and female identities. I know many cross dressers who have no intention or desire to transition. They satisfy all their feminine urges with an en femme outing once or twice a month.
That latter position was where I hoped I could find peace, but alas, it was not enough because becoming hormonally female did alter my mental and emotional makeup along the lines of a woman. In other words I stepped onto the 'slippery slope' that carried me much further down the path I was on.
I don't think my wife would have been at all comfortable with my transitioning all the way in those first formative months. But, the fact is, her thinking changed, too. Don't assume that your wife's viewpoint is fixed, anymore than yours is.
I know, it sounds like I'm trying to encourage you to take a path that may not be right for you. Sorry, that's not my intention. It's best to try to limit the risk that being transgender injects into your marriage anyway you can. Avoid transition, if possible, it's a very emotionally, and financially difficult course to set out on. I held it back for 66 years. It can be done if that's what you feel is in your best interest. At some point, however, if you are like me, as time goes on, your GD will grow to the where it can no longer be held in check. You'll know when that time comes, and if your wife has been a part of your journey all along, she will be in an excellent position to help you manage the crisis.
That's my thinking at this point in my own transition. No one wants to learn to swim by being thrown overboard with the only choice being to sink or swim.
Clara
I've often talked about transition as being a joint venture. That is, both I and my wife are transitioning together. Really, it can be no other way and hope to stay together on a solid footing. That's my opinion, anyway. I believe that's a central point in Leslie Fabian's book "My Husband is a Woman Now".
The other point I'd like to make is that transition is not an all of nothing proposition. If one's gender ID is a mix of male and female, i.e., one falls somewhere in the middle of the the gender spectrum, it's possible to find a perfectly comfortable place that straddles both the male and female identities. I know many cross dressers who have no intention or desire to transition. They satisfy all their feminine urges with an en femme outing once or twice a month.
That latter position was where I hoped I could find peace, but alas, it was not enough because becoming hormonally female did alter my mental and emotional makeup along the lines of a woman. In other words I stepped onto the 'slippery slope' that carried me much further down the path I was on.
I don't think my wife would have been at all comfortable with my transitioning all the way in those first formative months. But, the fact is, her thinking changed, too. Don't assume that your wife's viewpoint is fixed, anymore than yours is.
I know, it sounds like I'm trying to encourage you to take a path that may not be right for you. Sorry, that's not my intention. It's best to try to limit the risk that being transgender injects into your marriage anyway you can. Avoid transition, if possible, it's a very emotionally, and financially difficult course to set out on. I held it back for 66 years. It can be done if that's what you feel is in your best interest. At some point, however, if you are like me, as time goes on, your GD will grow to the where it can no longer be held in check. You'll know when that time comes, and if your wife has been a part of your journey all along, she will be in an excellent position to help you manage the crisis.
That's my thinking at this point in my own transition. No one wants to learn to swim by being thrown overboard with the only choice being to sink or swim.
Clara