[Marina Kits]

Is this simply a different spot on the TG scale, or is it something else altogether? I sometimes think my desire to be female is nothing more than a sexual fetish, and that the relief I get from PM is due to the PM squashing my sexual desires (including the fetish). At other times I think that isn't the case because I am a *much* more likeable person when I'm taking PM.

Misty

I'm not sure. I believe the gender spectrum IS real and perhaps I am just a little further down the line ...who knows? I know for certain that using PM for 10 months followed by a hybrid plan with pharmaceutical E for over a year and now full HRT with Spiro, E and Finasteride for 3 months does nothing to relieve my gender dysphoria. I'm always thinking about what it would be like to be included in the female gender camp and every time someone misgenders me, it's like getting a needle prick in my heart.

As for sex and fetish arguments, neither resonate with me. Intercourse (or the attempt of) intensifies my dislike of my body to the point where I sometimes end up in the fetal position shaking and crying when it's time to perform. When we ARE intimate "sexually" it is all about her pleasure and very rarely involves penetration. I do what I can to please her or help her please herself and then we're done. I haven't had an orgasm in months and I could count the number of orgasms I've had in the last 3 years on a hand with a finger amputated. In fact, my last orgasm ever was mutually plan and completed in January. Never again! I'm just not interested in sex, pornography, masturbation or any such related fantasies at all. It just reminds me how inappropriately equipped I am. Sexual arousal has nothing whatsoever to do with me wanting to jump the gender fence.