[bryony]

But what I DO get is to experience life as I feel I was made to experience it, for the rest of my life. I get to be identified as, and treated like the girl I know myself to be, for the rest of my life!

Hi Kari,

I think the statement above best describes the difference between us. I can't say I was "made to experience" life as a women. I have heard others say they "know" they are female, despite the physical male attributes, but I cannot say this. I know I "wish" I were female, but I can't say that I "am" female, nor that I even "should have been" female.

Your description matches mine in just about every way, Misty. I think you are worrying about a false dichotomy, however.

Is this simply a different spot on the TG scale, or is it something else altogether? I sometimes think my desire to be female is nothing more than a sexual fetish, and that the relief I get from PM is due to the PM squashing my sexual desires (including the fetish). At other times I think that isn't the case because I am a *much* more likeable person when I'm taking PM.

You could think of it like this: PM makes us more likeable, because of the relief of PM squashing the sexual desires.

From a very small sample size, I have built a theory that, perhaps because men are visually oriented, they seem to need to build a mental fantasy in order to find the sexual act exciting enough to complete. This could be as simple as cheating on a wife in the case of the "standard" male.

With sufficient exposure to internet porn, other fantasies get imprinted, but for this to happen, it has to fit an underlying psychosexual interest. Predating the internet era, my interest in "she-males" was piqued by glossy magazines in suspicious bookshops in London, and I quickly realised that it would be far more exciting to be one of these people; but this was playing to the inherent autogynephilia caused, I believe, by insufficient testosterone exposure in the womb.

Regardless of whether this theory is correct, PM has enabled me to enjoy physical intimacy and climax as a female does; completely divorced from the male ejaculatory mechanism, and totally without the use of mental fantasy in any way.
I no longer have to "work at it" - it just takes me by surprise, every time.

Part of that very small sample I mentioned earlier was my wife, who agreed that fantasy plays no part in her obtaining climax, though it used to be essential for me.

I wonder whether the frustration of not being able to obtain release without the constant visualisation of oneself as a women is not part of a conditioned obsession that leads many heterosexual family men to go all the way with transition?

Correspondingly, I wonder if it is because, now that I have a more physically satisfying relationship with my wife than I ever managed before, that I do not feel the need to go through all the shennanigans associated with transformation?

I would recommend anyone using PM to take advantage of the possibility of female climax. Unlike the male kind that gets more difficult over time, this just gets better and better.

My 3 month break has reawakened my GD. I started back on PM a few days ago... hopefully the peace I once enjoyed will return.

Misty

I'm sure it will. I do hope the symptoms that caused you to stop taking it do not return.

B.