[Marina Kits]

Wow Clara. Thanks for posting that. I'm going to clip it out and send it to my wife. Not because she needs to think about what you've said but because she wants to know there are others like her. My wife is also fully supportive of my transition to the point of defending me against some very long time friends of hers who are subtly, and some not so subtly, telling her to cut and run. Why the hell they think they have a right to question her decisions and undermine our marriage is another topic for another time especially given the fact that their knowledge and research into transgenderism pales in comparison to ours. Of course, my wife doesn't WANT me to transition but she she gets it! She understands that this is not a choice for me and that any number of life changing events could disrupt the status quo of a marriage. I could have a paralyzing stroke, she could have dementia etc. etc. etc. She understands that leaving me solves nothing. It leaves both of us in very bad positions.

I am so proud of my wife for her dedication and loyalty to me, her thoughtful and rational conclusions about my gender issues and her willingness to defend her husband and transgender persons in general. I'll be eternally grateful for what she does for me despite what it has and will cost her in the future. God willing, I'll be able to return the favor (love) to her in some way before I die.

What you said Clara sums up my wife and our relationship perfectly but especially this part...

Thirdly, she loves me and wants me to be happy. This might be the most important aspect of all because it kept doors open that might otherwise have been slammed shut. She sensed that I was a happier person being free to express my true gender. My being happier made her happier, and she wanted to find a way to make this work. She maintained a willingness to learn about transgenderism by discussing it with me and taking the time to read about it. Nothing is as scary as it first appears once an understanding is gained. Through her readings, our many discussions, and our getting to know other transgender people, rational thought replaced emotional reaction to each new step in my transition.

I can honestly say, and my wife will confirm, we are a better, stronger, more deeply connected couple now, because of my transgender self, than we were before all this shit hit the fan. It's amazing what love and acceptance can do! Her love changed me. Now that my internal fight is at bay, I love others 100 times better. My wife, my kids, my friends, family and marginalized people in general have all enjoyed the much happier, grace filled, accepting person that I'm becoming. Mine is a success story for the record books thus far.

Misty,
You have been a long time friend of mine here. Do you mind if I have a go at your question?
You're right. I'll never be able to change that damn Y chromosome to an X. I'll never know what it's like to truly "BE" a female, to be Daddy's little girl, to have boys dote over and pursue me, to wear the prom dress, get asked to marry the man of my dreams, be the bride, be pregnant, or be a mom. I missed out on the very best experiences of being female, no doubt. But what I DO get is to experience life as I feel I was made to experience it, for the rest of my life. I get to be identified as, and treated like the girl I know myself to be, for the rest of my life! I get to know how it feels to live at peace with myself and I can't wait to get started. Yes, the price is high, emotionally, monetarily and relationally but NOT transitioning costs a lot too. Perhaps it would cost me life itself to continue being perceived as a male. And what the heck, that stupid Y chromosome isn't all that bad. I assume it's the origin of my mechanical ability which I find pretty handy and I suppose it helps me navigate roads and analyze things logically. No, I'll never truly be female but I can be truly ME, a hybrid of male and female, very unique indeed but certainly much better than my formerly conflicted self.