[GoneGirl]

Bryony,
Yes, gender identity is a continuum. We all find ourselves at different points on the spectrum. I'm sure you have a pretty good idea where you fall. But you have no business assuming where I fall.

If I had run up against the kind of opposition from my wife as you have from yours (and I expected to), I was prepared to lose everything, except my life, to get out from under what had grown into an intolerable burden.

Was I concerned about the pain that it would cause my wife? Of course I was, and I was prepared to do all I could to lessen it. Fortunately, I have a wife who was also willing to do all she could to lessen mine. I know of several wives of friends who are not, and in most of those cases, it's the transgender who tries to find some middle ground that the wife will begrudgingly agree to. It's not often a stable solution, however, and only serves to increase distrust and resentment between husband and wife.

You seem to have found a middle ground that works for you, Bryony. Great, I'm happy for you. Each of us needs to find ours.

Clara