21-03-2015, 01:41 AM
Sorry to bore everyone who has read it already, but for the sake of completeness, I'll give my reasons.
My sub-moniker is "heretic" because I don't believe in orthodoxies, primarily because there are so many that are self-evidently c-r-a-p.
The orthodoxy has proclaimed that autogynephilia is anathema; well stuff them. I am/was an autogynephile.
I wanted breasts for pretty much as long as I can remember because they are, to the observer, a primary sexual characteristic of females, and imagining myself as one was the biggest sexual thrill in my experience. However, as it is tied in to the male orgasm, which appears to depend primarily on fantasy imagery in the mind's eye, or physical manifestations of whatever fetish is required, the irony was that when I at last grew them, I was no longer an autogynephile.
The fact that I now have two good handfuls is because I am taking enough of an estrogen-mimic to have chemically castrated myself. I therefore have none of the male libido left that drove me to grow them in the first place.
However, their existence is self-sustaining for two reasons. (1) The positive mental benefits of taking PM mean that I will always be taking it until I am physically incapable of doing so. (2) Shortly after starting on PM I developed the ability to obtain, from breast/nipple stimulation, multiple female orgasms that have, over time, far outweighed the enjoyment of the male kind.
In fact that was one reason why I stopped periodic "cold turkey", as I no longer needed or wanted the other kind, which required unpleasant mental imagery, weren't as powerful as they used to be, with a fairly long refractory period (the other reason being that my wife was no longer able to tolerate penetration and does not want HRT).
So in fact, they do provide me with a sexual thrill, but in a cis-female way, not an autogynephilic way.
To answer the other half of the question about transitioning - the short answer is that I would have nothing to gain and everything to lose.
So NOW, the reason I want breasts and not transition is (a) that their existence is dependent on me taking a substance that I depend on for my sanity, and (b) they are more fun than a barrel of monkeys! I love them!
B.
PS sorry the answer was so long!
My sub-moniker is "heretic" because I don't believe in orthodoxies, primarily because there are so many that are self-evidently c-r-a-p.
The orthodoxy has proclaimed that autogynephilia is anathema; well stuff them. I am/was an autogynephile.
I wanted breasts for pretty much as long as I can remember because they are, to the observer, a primary sexual characteristic of females, and imagining myself as one was the biggest sexual thrill in my experience. However, as it is tied in to the male orgasm, which appears to depend primarily on fantasy imagery in the mind's eye, or physical manifestations of whatever fetish is required, the irony was that when I at last grew them, I was no longer an autogynephile.
The fact that I now have two good handfuls is because I am taking enough of an estrogen-mimic to have chemically castrated myself. I therefore have none of the male libido left that drove me to grow them in the first place.
However, their existence is self-sustaining for two reasons. (1) The positive mental benefits of taking PM mean that I will always be taking it until I am physically incapable of doing so. (2) Shortly after starting on PM I developed the ability to obtain, from breast/nipple stimulation, multiple female orgasms that have, over time, far outweighed the enjoyment of the male kind.
In fact that was one reason why I stopped periodic "cold turkey", as I no longer needed or wanted the other kind, which required unpleasant mental imagery, weren't as powerful as they used to be, with a fairly long refractory period (the other reason being that my wife was no longer able to tolerate penetration and does not want HRT).
So in fact, they do provide me with a sexual thrill, but in a cis-female way, not an autogynephilic way.
To answer the other half of the question about transitioning - the short answer is that I would have nothing to gain and everything to lose.
So NOW, the reason I want breasts and not transition is (a) that their existence is dependent on me taking a substance that I depend on for my sanity, and (b) they are more fun than a barrel of monkeys! I love them!
B.
PS sorry the answer was so long!