18-03-2015, 03:57 PM
Huh
The idea emerged for me when I was 14 in the 80's when I first heard about the "sex change" and the knowledge it was even possible... It came back hard in my 30's when I decided to try CD'ing seriously, decided I shouldn't do it at the time because I was terrified of friends and family finding out and even maybe losing my very high paying job... Then at 44 Id had enough of fighting it and I knew my life was half over... I was already well on the way before I took any PM... Id been shaving everywhere and even going out as woman shopping for clothes ect. a lot for about 3 months...
I met a very kinky woman I confided in who rather enjoyed the idea of feminizing me ect... I wont say I passed right away but with her help it wasn't at all that humiliating and I began to see the possibilities... What seemed hopelessly out of reach wasn't really after all..... To actually share my secret with someone who accepted me was the most liberating thing id ever done and I knew even then there was no going back.... Just doubts about whether or not I could ever really pass as female at my age... I felt like it was too late and I was some kind of freak and not sure how far I wanted to go...
I honestly thought NBE was just a BS scam but I tried it because I wasn't sure if I was just a perv or something and "not really trans" but T was a big part of all of that... I took a while for me to sort out my feelings, it became clear pretty fast Id never be happy trying to be somewhere in between though.... When it started to actually work and I loved the effects on my body and mind I had to accept the fact that I needed to go a lot farther than just trying to be andro and CD'ing... Its a HARD scary decision when you get to the point that your looking at steps that are irreversible.... I went full time about a month BEFORE I started PM and Ive never looked back... 12-25-13 was the last day I tried to pretend I was male... By 2 1/2 months on NBE Id decided I needed the real thing and ordered E and spiro online.... I started laser on my face and electrolysis shortly after that... Found a doc to prescribe HRT ect... It was on and with every irreversible step I took to feminize I knew that it was right for me and I just wanted more
PM was just one of the smaller first steps though and while I'll admit at first I was worried it was clouding my judgement.... I knew that wasn't really true because Id also been writing long letters holding nothing back to an EX GF months before I started NBE.... Sometimes even now I like to revisit those writings and remember where my mind was at when I didn't even own a single piece of womens clothing, T was finally starting to lower naturally but still there making me feel as uneasy as ever and I was just wondering WTF was wrong with me
So no I dont believe PM or even legit HRT can make a person do things the dont really want to do anyway... Id did open my mind to the possibilities that seemed out of reach though
The idea emerged for me when I was 14 in the 80's when I first heard about the "sex change" and the knowledge it was even possible... It came back hard in my 30's when I decided to try CD'ing seriously, decided I shouldn't do it at the time because I was terrified of friends and family finding out and even maybe losing my very high paying job... Then at 44 Id had enough of fighting it and I knew my life was half over... I was already well on the way before I took any PM... Id been shaving everywhere and even going out as woman shopping for clothes ect. a lot for about 3 months... I met a very kinky woman I confided in who rather enjoyed the idea of feminizing me ect... I wont say I passed right away but with her help it wasn't at all that humiliating and I began to see the possibilities... What seemed hopelessly out of reach wasn't really after all..... To actually share my secret with someone who accepted me was the most liberating thing id ever done and I knew even then there was no going back.... Just doubts about whether or not I could ever really pass as female at my age... I felt like it was too late and I was some kind of freak and not sure how far I wanted to go...
I honestly thought NBE was just a BS scam but I tried it because I wasn't sure if I was just a perv or something and "not really trans" but T was a big part of all of that... I took a while for me to sort out my feelings, it became clear pretty fast Id never be happy trying to be somewhere in between though.... When it started to actually work and I loved the effects on my body and mind I had to accept the fact that I needed to go a lot farther than just trying to be andro and CD'ing... Its a HARD scary decision when you get to the point that your looking at steps that are irreversible.... I went full time about a month BEFORE I started PM and Ive never looked back... 12-25-13 was the last day I tried to pretend I was male... By 2 1/2 months on NBE Id decided I needed the real thing and ordered E and spiro online.... I started laser on my face and electrolysis shortly after that... Found a doc to prescribe HRT ect... It was on and with every irreversible step I took to feminize I knew that it was right for me and I just wanted more
PM was just one of the smaller first steps though and while I'll admit at first I was worried it was clouding my judgement.... I knew that wasn't really true because Id also been writing long letters holding nothing back to an EX GF months before I started NBE.... Sometimes even now I like to revisit those writings and remember where my mind was at when I didn't even own a single piece of womens clothing, T was finally starting to lower naturally but still there making me feel as uneasy as ever and I was just wondering WTF was wrong with me
So no I dont believe PM or even legit HRT can make a person do things the dont really want to do anyway... Id did open my mind to the possibilities that seemed out of reach though