[GoneGirl]

I can relate to your experiences, Bryony. I am transsexual. That fact has been established through a process of self-discovery over the past 2 years or so. I suffered gender dysphoria from an early age although the cause was not fully understood until very late in my life. Cross dressing was not my thing. I coped with my GD through fantasies involving my being a woman. Sexual arousal often accompanied these fantasies.

When I started taking PM to lower my A/E balance, the erotic fantasizing disappeared within a couple of weeks. Half my GD problem was solved, but I still had the problem of hating my male body. As my breasts developed and other feminizing effects of PM appeared, I alternated between being ecstatic and scared. Eventually, feelings of joy dominated and the need to transition became crystal clear.

In my case autogynephilia was a manifestation of my GD whose root cause was having a very strong, but suppressed, female gender identity. Today, there is nothing erotic about my being a woman. It's simply who I am, and I dress as a woman daily for the purpose of projecting the gender that I know myself to be.

I agree with you, Bryony, that tinkering with one's sex hormone balance is risky. It could reveal things that lead to lasting mental peace and fulfillment, or cause the painful disruption of one's life.

Clara