[jannet.duff]

Hi I'm Justine and here is my story.
So now I caught between a rock and a hard place, give up everything become the woman I’m supposed to be or continue living masqueraded as a dude and live out my feminine side in unfulling secrecy.
I seriously don’t know how much longer I can keep up with this.

Justine honey, I would suggest you get in touch with your local LGBT support group ( locally here for me it was part of the local AIDS group ). I am sure that once you have the chance to meet up with some like minded folk face to face, it will help put some of desires into perspective. I know lots of us have days were we want all or nothing, and these desires, thoughts and other issues keep churning over and over in our heads. You will find quite a few of us can quite successfully lead double lives, not all of us can transition successfully due to family commitments and work issues. Its important to balance our lives out the best we can.

Maybe even a local support group like this one http://xpressions.org/ ?

There is hope, there is a future that will help you find some piece from within.

Jamie.