15-10-2014, 11:58 AM
(14-10-2014, 01:18 AM)Samantha Rogers Wrote: I have seen many examples of marriages foundering over trans issues and only a comparitive few where the marriage has survived.
My marriage has survived and so has the marriages of several others I know who are also transitioning MTFs. The secret seems to be to give your spouse plenty of time to adjust, answer questions and do your best to keep the physical side of the marriage alive. This does not mean that YOU have to perform sexually. There are plenty of "alternatives". It also helps to adjust the approach to love making to a more feminine one, taking longer and working towards the intimacy. Make naughty and make it fun so you can both enjoy things.
Based on a very small sample (local MTFs who I know) I would say that the odds against a marriage surviving are high. It is more likely to break up than survive, but it is not the near certainty that is commonly portrayed. Of 14 MTFs I know well, six of us (including me) have marriages that survived. What we all have in common was that
- We brought our spouses to our support group
- We told them as much as they wanted to know. We did not overload them with information.
- We did not rush our transition
- We are all over 40 with one exception who is in her 30s