[Jaded Jade]

Samantha's comment is right on, finding a good therapist is very important. While I am pretty confidant of my situation, I am still at the looking for a good Gender Therapist (GT) stage. Most of what I have been doing so far has been either exercise based or just low level herbal HRT to suppress GD at this point. (But the amount of flat out reshaping of body lines that can be achieved by targeted exercise is often severely underestimated!)

I do have the high 2D:4D finger ratio, but what I have read this is just strongly correlated, not a litmus test that confirms or denies anything. How you feel, and getting to a point where you feel good/better/happy is the important thing.

Don't let the personal experiences and paths of others distract you from your own path. Or let the lack of certain traits or experiences make you invalidate others.

Unlike others here I never really dressed, and I have no hate for my male equipment. I feel strongly that my GID is non-binary Androgyne. Years ago when I first asked myself allot of these hard questions, and did not talk to a GT I made the mistake of thinking that since I was not or did not X, Y Z, that A, B, C was not true. If you have these feelings, be true to yourself and like Samantha said, get a good ST that will ask the right questions. And not just rush you down the line to SRS/GCS or out their door.

(TRIGGER WARNING)

After years ago listening to some toxic highly binary advice that was not relevant to my non-binary situation, the was one piece of evidence and experience that was chilling and clear to me that I did have GD.

It was reading a MTF talking about looking in the mirror, she referred to not seeing herself in it for years, but rather seeing puppet, mannequin, or body.

I had never heard anyone else ever talk about a mirror this way, most people would say that they see themselves in the mirror, or that "I see me". I had always glibly said "I see what I look like" or "I see my body." To myself when I looked in the mirror I would always refer to my body as husk, marionette, conveyance, the box I keep my brain in, or even carcass. Just on rare occasions when I really tried would I see a glint of myself trapped in the reflection of my eyes. AND I THOUGHT THIS WAS NORMAL.

I had not seen "myself" in the mirror for over 20 years.

Now even the minor changes that I have made, small though they are, compared to many of the brave and bold people here, now I can see myself in the mirror. And the roar of GD is becoming a whisper. I have my identity, validity, and I am a better person for it.


- JJ (Behold my prolific use of emoticons!)