[Heather-H]

If anyone is qualified to gauge your brothers reaction it's you. Knowing him for 66 years. As Clara said though, try to have reasonable expectations. It's possible he might have some idea already and yet it might also be possible that it could be a complete shock.

It is an incredibly hard situation that you are in. To me communication, planning and the ability to compromise seem key in being able to move forward. Yet it needs both parties to be open and willing to acknowledge the problem and work towards a solution.

Hi Denita,
I had the opportunity last Saturday night to speak to my brother in confidence. I felt it was necessary as he and our wives are going on holiday shortly and my change in physique will be very obvious to him especially when we go swimming together. I was not sure what reaction to expect but took yours and Clara's advice to be prepared.

He was very calm and far less emotional than expected. He did say my revelations were a shock as he had no idea that I had suffered in silence all these years. He asked some very pertinent questions and I in turn answered with complete honesty. The person I most fear knowing is his wife, she has a very bigoted view of most things especially with a subject such as this. I asked my brother to let me find the right time to approach the subject with her at a more opportune moment.

My brother immediately poured me a large bourbon and we proceeded to play a few games of Cribbage. So all went well (so far anyway)

Than you again Denita, you have been a great inspiration.

Heather X