[❇ Abby ❇]

Hi Denita,

Once again I wish to express my happiness for you, you obviously made a very sound and necessary choice which has paid off and sure to promote future happiness.

I want to tell my brother who is 4years younger than me, my wife has expressly forbidden it as she is unsure how both him and his wife will react. I am in a much different age bracket than you, being just a few months from my 70th birthday I am in the twilight zone and feel its a now or never scenario.

I was interest also with your meeting at the psychiatrist, mine is next month and I am already very nervous and wondering how it is going to pan out. This may well be my last opportunity to progress, I couldn't face the rest of my life with just occasional dressing. My DW is not at all with me on this journey and keeps on saying "why can't you just be happy with CD'ing" she refuses to accept GID or TS is anything that can't be cured.

My mother and father passed away quite some time ago, my mother had an inkling that I was different from my brother as I often wore clear nail varnish and sometimes bra's over 35 years ago. If she was alive today I feel confident that she would be very supportive. Oh well that's life.

Best of luck with all your endeavours, I am sure you will conquer all the mountains that may lay before you and plant your Denita flag triumphantly on each of them.

Hugs
Heather X

Hi Heather,

Thank you. It was like the proverbial flood gate that about to burst. I had to tell him before he found himself ankle deep in water. Strange thing is, it's the reaction I expect to get from him, yet I was still surprised by it.

If anyone is qualified to gauge your brothers reaction it's you. Knowing him for 66 years. As Clara said though, try to have reasonable expectations. It's possible he might have some idea already and yet it might also be possible that it could be a complete shock.

It is an incredibly hard situation that you are in. To me communication, planning and the ability to compromise seem key in being able to move forward. Yet it needs both parties to be open and willing to acknowledge the problem and work towards a solution.

I know that my father, who would have been 77 this year, would have flatly rejected any thought or acceptance that I was TG. He would never have understood it and any move I made towards transition would have resulted in ejection from the family as, in his view, I would have shamed them. He would never have compromised his almost Edwardian values and standards. He was not a bad man but his upbringing and the society he lived in made him that way. I think the UK is massively behind other countries in LGBT acceptance.

I would say "don't worry" but I know it's easier said than done but at the end of the day your psychiatrist is there to help and support you. Yes it is hard to talk about some things and emotional sometimes but it's meant to help. It is a positive thing and I know my psychiatrist has helped me hugely.

If I remember rightly there are several UK based support groups that council and support partners of TG. I will do some research and email you any help that I find. It might be useful?

Thank you again for your encouragement and kind words. I really hope your situation improves and you get the progress you desire.


Denita