25-07-2014, 05:54 AM
Now tht I have come out to my fiancee I feel more at ease around her. Im able to dress like I want (in private) , and our sex life seemed to get a huge jolt.. at first.
The problem is this thinng between my legs. She likes it and I don't , in fact I hate it. I hate looking at it , touching it, having to wash it, using it on her I just fucking can't stand having a penis. When I tell people this they bring up tht ive used it many times with several different people in ny lifetime. But for me its always been kind of living vicariously through the women I was with. Id imagine them fucking me instead of I them. So now its like im depriving my fiancee of something she kind of was expecting to get when I got with her. Its not enough to imagine not being the fuck et anymore I wanna be the fuck ee. The sex we have now us more closer to tht of wat lesbians do which I think is great but even though she doesn't say anything I know by comparing moans and orgasm numbers tht my fingers just arnt cutting it. We have talked of strap ons post op but she has also brought up the idea of me being allowed to go outside our relationship in order to get my penis quota filled if u know wat I mean.
But though I know a huge part of me would love tht the other part of me is concerned about her needs. I feel like I should be fucking her on principle but wen she touches me down there I get super depressed which kills my hard on. Also I know if I did allow some guy to bang my brains out she would feel some way about it and probably won't tell me until its too late and our relationship would die because of it and we r raising 3 kids together and I love her to pieces and don't want to jeopardize tht.
I have no clue wat to do.
Help.
The problem is this thinng between my legs. She likes it and I don't , in fact I hate it. I hate looking at it , touching it, having to wash it, using it on her I just fucking can't stand having a penis. When I tell people this they bring up tht ive used it many times with several different people in ny lifetime. But for me its always been kind of living vicariously through the women I was with. Id imagine them fucking me instead of I them. So now its like im depriving my fiancee of something she kind of was expecting to get when I got with her. Its not enough to imagine not being the fuck et anymore I wanna be the fuck ee. The sex we have now us more closer to tht of wat lesbians do which I think is great but even though she doesn't say anything I know by comparing moans and orgasm numbers tht my fingers just arnt cutting it. We have talked of strap ons post op but she has also brought up the idea of me being allowed to go outside our relationship in order to get my penis quota filled if u know wat I mean.
But though I know a huge part of me would love tht the other part of me is concerned about her needs. I feel like I should be fucking her on principle but wen she touches me down there I get super depressed which kills my hard on. Also I know if I did allow some guy to bang my brains out she would feel some way about it and probably won't tell me until its too late and our relationship would die because of it and we r raising 3 kids together and I love her to pieces and don't want to jeopardize tht.
I have no clue wat to do.
Help.