[AnnieBL]

Following up on my last post, one thing that was already emerging was that both of us grew up exposed to very negative attitudes towards cross dressing, something that J has difficulty in adjusting to, and it may well have a bearing on the fact that I have never hitherto cross dressed myself. Another thing that doesn’t sit well with her is that she regarded it only as inadequate faking of being a woman, and she felt quite strongly that a man can never achieve the truly feminine. Possibly this is a legitimate attitude towards a fetishist, but I don’t think this applies to most of our group. Surely we do it to express the feminine part of our variant gender. She also reacted badly to any mention of bras or other foundation garments (more fakery), she didn’t want to see me in my wig (or even see the wig), and when she said she didn’t see how a man could wear a female bathing suit and I said I could produce a photograph she said no thanks. She says she’s very confused, and so we’ll have to see how it all sorts itself out.

She did however go to the meeting of the local PFLAG group a couple of evenings ago (on her own, as she wanted) and found it very interesting and friendly. There were a number of TG/TS people there, although it was quite a small meeting. In particular there was one couple who had been married until the husband transitioned and their ways parted, but they are now again living together. They too emphasized that time was needed to digest this type of pink elephant. J found them very likeable and friendly, and it looks as if they might be coming out here to see us in the fairly near future. J was astonished that she could not tell that the ex-husband was not a GG (the same also applied to some of the others at the meeting, including an F/M but the other way around) and how feminine he was. Another thing she noticed was that there were several teenagers, each accompanied by his/her father, but no mothers. She wants me to go with her next time, but unfortunately the group does not meet during July and August and the September meeting clashes with SCC. One curious comment by the couple she met which seems to need following up was that they had just found an endocrinologist that would be prepared to prescribe hormones. Useful information in its own right, but how did she get as far as she evidently has without prescriptions?

She still feels the need to sort out her conflicting attitudes, and is I think concerned about her ability to regard our lovemaking in the same light as before, but we are sill talking and hopefully moving slowly forwards.