[GoneGirl]

... when I explained about my female gender identity, that I had trouble playing the role of a man during love making, and made it clear that it really was not her fault, a huge sense of guilt was lifted from her shoulders. As a result, our sexual relationship improved significantly.

Does my wife feel that she has to play the lesbian now that I identify as a woman in the bedroom? Not, necessarily, although she doesn't object to my being fem in the bedroom. What she sees is a person who is devoted to her pleasure like never before. There is no rush to achieve orgasm and a quick end to sexual intimacy. She has time to build to a state of sexual excitement and is more likely to reach orgasm than at any time in the past. I am still her husband in her mind. The total me minus the anxiety that always interfered with sex in the past....

Any thoughts on this? Has anyone found this to be a factor in your relationship? Let's discuss.

Clara

Hi Clara,

I have had a very similar response from my wife. I've always been a woman in my head, as far as love making is concerned, alluding to this as a little fantasy long before I came out as TG. Interestingly, I think that knowing this was truly how I identified myself has improved our intimate relations. While she still sees me as a male, she also realizes that I experience pleasure and gratification much as she does.

Kim

Just to follow up on this point, Kim.....

I stumbled on this website Flexuality about human sexual orientation. Apparently, most of us are a lot more bisexual than we think.

Here’s a graph showing the actual sexual types of the approximately 8,000 men and women who have taken the test, by percentage and broken down according to whether the subject self-identified as heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual:

[attachment=6782]

Here a link to the test where you will find the definitions of the sexual orientations shown in the graph. Take the Test

Notice that 75% of people who took the test and self identified as heterosexual turn out to be ambisexual (~25%) or heteroflexible (~50%).

Ambisexual: You are attracted to both men and women, though not necessarily in the same ways or to the same degree. Also known as classic bisexual, AC-DC, 50-50, or a Kinsey 3.

Heteroflexible: You are open to fooling around with someone of the same sex, even though you generally consider yourself straight. Also known as bi-curious, questioning, experimenting, or mostly straight.

This may explain why a straight wife will often be attracted to a trans husband even after much feminization has occurred.

It certainly has worked out that way in my marriage.

Clara