Clara,
Since I am very much in the midst of 'coming clean' with my own wife, this thread is of very great interest to me. I had been concerned that my attempts to tell her about my gender variance were not being very effective, that she was hearing me but not listening, or not wanting to know and brushing it off by saying 'You've already told me that' and sliding off sideways into another subject. So I wrote it all (much of it anyway) out and handed it to her with a request to read it right through and then cross examine me. She did, and we have been discussing it in some depth ever since. Very early on she warned me that just because she was taking it calmly, I shouldn't assume acceptance, and she has repeated this in various ways since. For example, she has said that I should not of expected her to take my revelations anything but calmly, by implication meaning that this is something far too important actually to fight over. One theme that has surfaced is that she very much does not want to feel that she is being in any way manipulated into acceptance in this matter and I know, Clara, that she would be inclined to see some of your suggestions, such as those your last post in this thread, sensible as they are, in just that light.
She does say that she needs time, and would very much like to find someone, other than myself, to discuss it with, but neither of us can think of anyone. There is a local chapter of PFLAG, who are having their last meeting before a summer recess on June 6. I've suggested that she or both of us should go, but that is still up in the air. She is not standing in the way of my going to SCC although she says I won't enjoy it, and will be even more worried if I do. I think that she is concerned that this would not be a one-off episode of cross dressing for me, but the beginning of a slippery slope on which I might not be able to stop myself: and in all honesty I cannot say for certain that there is not a risk, Nothing major that one does is without risk.
On the other hand she is also taking the view that if I do go to SCC, she is determined that I will be as well turned out a woman as is possible within a budget limited by being for a one-off event; and she also sees it as an interesting sewing project.
From my own point of view, putting together the illusion oneself is part of the fun, but who am I to grudge her part of this? Of course, attitudes are still evolving and there are three months still to go.
Hugs
Since I am very much in the midst of 'coming clean' with my own wife, this thread is of very great interest to me. I had been concerned that my attempts to tell her about my gender variance were not being very effective, that she was hearing me but not listening, or not wanting to know and brushing it off by saying 'You've already told me that' and sliding off sideways into another subject. So I wrote it all (much of it anyway) out and handed it to her with a request to read it right through and then cross examine me. She did, and we have been discussing it in some depth ever since. Very early on she warned me that just because she was taking it calmly, I shouldn't assume acceptance, and she has repeated this in various ways since. For example, she has said that I should not of expected her to take my revelations anything but calmly, by implication meaning that this is something far too important actually to fight over. One theme that has surfaced is that she very much does not want to feel that she is being in any way manipulated into acceptance in this matter and I know, Clara, that she would be inclined to see some of your suggestions, such as those your last post in this thread, sensible as they are, in just that light.
She does say that she needs time, and would very much like to find someone, other than myself, to discuss it with, but neither of us can think of anyone. There is a local chapter of PFLAG, who are having their last meeting before a summer recess on June 6. I've suggested that she or both of us should go, but that is still up in the air. She is not standing in the way of my going to SCC although she says I won't enjoy it, and will be even more worried if I do. I think that she is concerned that this would not be a one-off episode of cross dressing for me, but the beginning of a slippery slope on which I might not be able to stop myself: and in all honesty I cannot say for certain that there is not a risk, Nothing major that one does is without risk.
On the other hand she is also taking the view that if I do go to SCC, she is determined that I will be as well turned out a woman as is possible within a budget limited by being for a one-off event; and she also sees it as an interesting sewing project.
From my own point of view, putting together the illusion oneself is part of the fun, but who am I to grudge her part of this? Of course, attitudes are still evolving and there are three months still to go.Hugs