[Samantha Rogers]

....In the case of a slow, torturous degenerative condition such as you describe, I would imagine the relentless psychological stress on you could well be overwhelming.Do you think there is something to this?

Well, before we met, her doctor had said, " Live every day as though it is your last, because it very well might be." She told me that on the first time we met, and we've done our best to take doctors advice ever since! - we've slept under the stars in the desert in Jordan, we've fished for (and caught!) Piranha in the Orinocco, and we are off to Marrakech on Thursday! We've done all sorts of things together that I wouldn't have dreamed of before and she still has Machu Pichu and the Great Wall of China on her bucket list! So please don't think we live a minute to minute 'sick room' existence, although I'd be a liar if I said that life doesn't also have its bad times. Many people have said that they don't know how I stand the strain, but as I've always said in reply, I married her knowing the score, knowing that she might be dead on the floor any day when I get home or might not wake up one morning. Knowing that, you simply accept it, put it to one side and get on with living. We will have had 11 years together in August and we doubted that it would be 11 months at the beginning, so every day is literally a bonus, not a threat.

....that when she became sick, her male side came charging back in. Perhaps, for those of us with a GID, moments of distress cause the mind to fall back on the somber security of the masculine?

Could be, but for me at least, I think it is not so much falling back on "the sombre security of the masculine", more the masculine sitting quietly in the background watching Pansy faff about with 'pretties' etc, until comes the time when he is forced to say, "OK now its my turn to sort out the priorities of life that she has ignored and got us into a mess. So now is her time to go and sit quietly whilst I do what is necessary."

I get it now Pansy. From what you describe, I have a much clearer picture. Ironic as it may be, you may well have a better life situation in many ways than others in perfect health. Your love for your wife is clear and beautiful, and being forced to live "moment by moment" actually places you in a state much closer to the authenticity we all seek, perhaps? Regardless, I feel better now. Though I am sure it is still rough and hard at times, in most other ways it seems a truly beautiful thing. I hope you both get to Machu Pichu.

And as to the other discussion, it is worth noting the theory that many of us, for whatever reason, exit the womb hard wired so that when we dress our brains release the same kind of pleasure producing endorphins that most males feel when in physical proximity to attractive women. So becoming female feels as good as being with a woman. This is a fairly well researched theory from what I have learned, and does go a long way, if true, to explaining a lot things.