26-05-2014, 06:39 AM
Thanks Sammie. You may be right, I don't know, sometimes we are too close to something to see it clearly ourselves.
Yes, in the past dressing has itself sometimes been a relief from the everyday stresses of life, my first wife would sometimes say "You need to go and be beautiful.", even when I hadn't realised it for myself!
Currently, this has a different feel, S's health is a constant concern, but has been since we first met 11 years ago. At that time, the chances of her dying, literally at any moment, were very high. That is no longer the case, but her overall level of health gets a tiny bit worse with each passing day, so in reality nothing much has changed in that sense. During that time I've gone from not dressing at all, to almost fulltime ( with her approval and encouragement), to back to nothing. I'm sure that PM is playing a role in it, but don't quite know how.
I'm in danger of overthinking this now, instead of simply accepting that "I am what I am", as have done all my life, and accepting whatever comes.
Yes, in the past dressing has itself sometimes been a relief from the everyday stresses of life, my first wife would sometimes say "You need to go and be beautiful.", even when I hadn't realised it for myself!
Currently, this has a different feel, S's health is a constant concern, but has been since we first met 11 years ago. At that time, the chances of her dying, literally at any moment, were very high. That is no longer the case, but her overall level of health gets a tiny bit worse with each passing day, so in reality nothing much has changed in that sense. During that time I've gone from not dressing at all, to almost fulltime ( with her approval and encouragement), to back to nothing. I'm sure that PM is playing a role in it, but don't quite know how.
I'm in danger of overthinking this now, instead of simply accepting that "I am what I am", as have done all my life, and accepting whatever comes.