[MissC]

Well... this topic isn't going to win me any friends with the guys here....

Are you sure about that? That's like me saying hypothetically, what do you know, you are not a biological woman.

There's no need to be hypothetical about it. We'll truly never know for sure. I can know -- or maybe 'feel' is a better word -- that my soul has a strong feminine side... but even "she" has never experienced a menstrual cramp. Not in this lifetime, anyway. Was that TMI?

Its only natural for a wife to feel secure with a man who is sure of himself, honest, and fulfilling his husbandly duties.

Indeed. And in my prior relationships, that's how it's been. (Not married though) I have all the things punched on my "man card". I can build houses, fix cars, weld, fix plumbing... name it.

How can one prove with tests they are female while their genetics gave them the opposite sex as a gender?

Can't be done. It's all subjective. We've discussed the so-called "gender tests" here in other threads... they are all built on asking vague and subjective questions of the taker. That is to say, there is nothing definitive in the way we might test blood for diabetes, or identify a viral pathogen.

However, to be fair, that is not the case with intersex conditions, which are chromosomal in nature. These are physical differences, and repeatably testable. It is also true that many 'transgender' people may simply be intersex and not be aware of it.

That isn't to dismiss the feelings people may have... it's just important to remember that feelings are not an accurate measure of anything but one's feelings.

but when it comes down to hard times, Id like to think he can take over and let me rest, but also no matter what, do all the heavy hardcore things around the house and make the final family decisions (though I fight my controlling nature),

Bless you for understanding that being "the man" is an enormous responsibility. When I or he hits the hard times, who do we get to lean on? Let me tell you, it can suck! When we're kids, we can run to Mommy... but we get that grown out of us rather quickly.

you just have to believe what YOU believe YOU cannot speak for other CD'ers whether it be TG related or something else entirely nor speak for those who don't understand.

This is why I speak up... others do not speak for me. I do not purport to speak for others. I speak for me... and I feel that you and I could have this conversation over coffee and part ways both enlightened.

When I was a little girl, I felt like a boy. Not all the time, just sometimes. I would walk around shirtless in my underwear believing I was a boy when I was 6. The feelings of gender resentment happened in highschool. I hated having a menstrual cycle, I felt very insecure!

One of my best friends tells me the same thing about herself. She's quite the girly girl now, but there's a very masculine soul in her too. She can counsel men just as well as women. We get on well.

If God told me I had to chose between an less attractive woman or a gorgeous looking male, I'd choose to be the gorgeous male.

Out of a sense of practicality, not least of which is being able to pee standing up... I'd probably go with you on that. Again, that is. But I dunno for sure... I'd kind of like to be a mom if I could. Pity we aren't a hermaphroditic species!

I was told by more than one psychic I had been male before in a past life but in this life Im female. I truly believe that. But it does not mean it is a fact. So we could talk all we want as we are, whether it be inbetween, TG, Pan, vite, typ male or female. We'll never be able to prove we've figured it out.

No, we couldn't prove it, that's true. But ya know? Reincarnation is, to me, the best sounding theory as to why there's gender weirdness! It's like the soul is saying, "gee, I didn't plan on having one of these this time round! WTF? Can I re-spawn?" It would explain some other random things, like knowing things one has no reason to know. And how children can look so much like their parents, but think, act, and behave so differently.

Im not in resentment, fighting with myself on what I should have been anymore. I got over myself! Like you, I like what I like, who I like, I think the difference is, I love playing my actual gender role, though I'm no high maintanence girly girl, Im somewhere inbetween. And if I were male, Id imagine Id love to play the male role as well, not being at all macho, just a dude who loves the ladies and perhaps find men attractive.

(This paragraph is what tells me you really do get it!)

Having figured out your own stuff is a good way to become persona non grata here, it seems. You imagine, you dream... but you live in the real world.

And I love your last sentence there! That says so much of how I feel, too. Now that I'm over denying my bisexual nature, that is. Accepting that about myself was like going from Atlas holding up the world of pain, to chilling on a beach drinking umbrella drinks.

Thank you for sharing with us what you've shared so far, and I hope you'll stick around and chat. I, for one, welcome your perspective.