[AnnieBL]

BTW, I'm not talking about TG's. I know its only a percentage and the spectrum is broad. I'm talking about the in betweens and those who claim to be straight.

TG's I really think need to let their spouses know when they come to terms with themselves that they are females inside the wrong body.

Also, if it were me, I'd bring a supportive individual to break it to whomever I think needs to know. I know its private, but i d feel safer that way, letting it sink into their minds and at the same time, hopefully there's no flying fists or objects coming at me.
I wouldn't care what anyone thought, I'd just want the weight off of me, move on and live my life.

Here I too have to part company with you, since I can't categorize myself other than an in-between. Despite the horrific problems that they face, one thing I envy in those genetic males who are certain that they
are really women is that certainty. I grew up being forced into a behavioural box in which as a genetic male I was expected to exhibit masculine behaviour with which I was profoundly uncomfortable and being chided for failure to do so despite my best efforts to conform, and also with an intense curiosity as to what it would feel like to be a woman. Cross dressing was an experiment I rapidly abandoned well before I married because I felt that it merely made me ridiculous and did nothing to satisfy my curiosity, but now things have changed a bit. I am long past any point at which transition could be an option, I recognize that the die is cast and I have to live and present to the world as a male despite any limited degree of feminisation of my body that has occurred, but I would still like to satisfy my curiosity about the woman I might have been if I can do so without harming anyone. I don't think that is perverted in any sense.

As for breaking things to my wife, this has been a difficult ongoing process because she acknowledges that there are things that she would rather not know. She was one of the earliest female entrants into a then very male dominated profession, and having broken through all the obvious barriers eventually found that the most difficult thing to live with was the attitude of other female professionals who tried to force her into a behavioural box in which she was profoundly uncomfortable, so she set up on her own. She got great satisfaction from the male professional who characterized her as 'one tough lady' and 'not a team player' but nevertheless ultimately bought her practice for a fair price.