What we often forget is that many of us tried very hard at some point in our lives to rid ourselves of our feminine identity sense. We were made to feel ashamed of it, and to reject it at every turn. We forced ourselves to embrace the male role, to be manly, to be aggressive, to harden our feelings, to be leaders, etc. We were influenced to believe that we could be the men we were expected to be, and many of us made every attempt to live up to that expectation. We joined the sports teams, we forced ourselves to socialize with other men, we joined the military, we married and had children. We tried to do what we were told over and over again was our obligation as biological males, to overcome our in-born personalities through denial and discipline. But, what was the result? Too often it was mental anguish, anxiety, self-hate, depression, in short, gender dysphoria. Many of us learned to cope with the dysphoria, but it often resulted in distorted sexual behavior that had to be kept secret out of shame and guilt and fear of discovery. Do we deserve to be humiliated, hated, condemned for something that we can do nothing about?
Many of us bi-gendered eventually came to understand our feminine sides and learned that there is no denying its expression. We've come to understand ourselves and accept our true subconscious natures. We long for acceptance by our wives, children, relatives, friends and society in general.
Is that perversion? Maybe in some cases, but to cast all of us as perverts is a gross injustice. It's true that we cannot force our mates to accept us for who we really are after we projected a different appearance for so long, but neither can we be forced to continue to deny who we are after learning the truth and wanting a few years of fulfillment in our true gender identities. Nor can we expect our spouses to automatically accept us for who we really are when it is incompatible with who they really are.
There is no absolute right or wrong here. There needs to be love, understanding, tolerance, and patience.
Clara
Many of us bi-gendered eventually came to understand our feminine sides and learned that there is no denying its expression. We've come to understand ourselves and accept our true subconscious natures. We long for acceptance by our wives, children, relatives, friends and society in general.
Is that perversion? Maybe in some cases, but to cast all of us as perverts is a gross injustice. It's true that we cannot force our mates to accept us for who we really are after we projected a different appearance for so long, but neither can we be forced to continue to deny who we are after learning the truth and wanting a few years of fulfillment in our true gender identities. Nor can we expect our spouses to automatically accept us for who we really are when it is incompatible with who they really are.
There is no absolute right or wrong here. There needs to be love, understanding, tolerance, and patience.
Clara