[GoneGirl]

I'm pretty sure, however, that once I achieve restored T levels that my GID will come racing back. So will the undesirable thoughts and actions that accompany what can only be described as sexual addiction. I am kind of hoping that some aspects of prolonged use of PM may become permanent (besides just the breast growth). We'll see, but I'm fairly sure I will wind up resuming PM once I achieve my rehabilitation goals.

You may be right, Misty. It's too bad that those who were once NBE participants, who dropped off this forum, having renounced their efforts to shift their hormone balance and are never heard from again, do not enlighten us with accounts of their experiences post herbal HRT.

I'm not convinced that everyone falls back into old sexual addictions, though, especially if their romance with PM was fairly long. I'm not even convinced that gender dysphoria returns provided that an outlet for one's female identity is not also withdrawn. I've been off PM for 12 days now from just 500 to 1000 mg/day and although my erection capacity has returned, and I feel my libido returning, I don't have any urge to start with the M&P again. I still enjoy femming up, but there's no sexual arousal involved. I still have 3 weeks to go on my break, though, so we'll see if that holds.

As far as maintaining physical strength, I'm of the opinion that taking regular PM breaks, like I do each month, along with strength building exercise, would do a lot to maintain one's physical conditioning. I know GGs who are in terrific condition from a physical stamina standpoint even though they may lack the overall muscular strength of a man. I know even more men who are in terrible physical condition despite having plenty of testosterone in their blood stream. Unless I was into serious sporting competition with other men, I wouldn't be all that concerned about those differences. But, that's just me. Everyone has their own take on it.

I can't help thinking that what Flame is experiencing these days is what many go through when their attempts to feminize themselves runs into resistance from their still significant male identity. It's very difficult to find a sustainable balance of expression between opposing gender identities. It's a natural win-lose set up with rationalizations for favoring one side or the other in a seemingly perpetual wavetrain of emotion. I say that from my own experience, but see it in others here at BN, too.

Clara