[Eloise]

Feelings of transition, I think, are natural. For me, it took a while to acknowledge this fact. At first, I thought the idea of transitioning was crazy and I buried the urge whenever it crept up. But it grew stronger the harder I tried to ignore it which I did so out of being partly scared and partly being at a point in my life where I didn't want to confront them. Eventually, once I got over these 'humps', I was forced to start asking myself questions and having a bit of an inner dialogue. These questions are personal and they essentially cut to the core of my being. I am still dealing with the notion of fully transitioning but I've at least made peace with this aspect.

Sorry for getting metaphysical but I just wanted to add my bit and let you know that there's at least one person here who sort of understands what you are experiencing.