[Lenneth]

Probably natural. We pump ourselves full of E...it makes sense something will be affected in our minds and not just in our bodies. If those thoughts grow stronger it might be wise to break for awhile to see what happens? If the thoughts are organic and not chemically induced I would think you would soon know. What do you think?

might be an idea, but the last couple times I've been noticing when I take a break for more than 2-3 days the Dysphoric symptoms come back worse than before, although that could just be that my tolerance for it has diminished, not to sure which.

one other thing, wasn't really sure if I should post this but it's a journal so here goes.

been noticing some mild increase in the idea of transitioning, nothing huge but a noticeable change all the same, not quite sure what to think of it.

I'd say welcome to the fence sitters!,

Don't ya think it's a progression of sorts?, meaning it's there in sub-conscious just hanging around and all sudden she says hey let me out!!...

good analogy.

one other thing, wasn't really sure if I should post this but it's a journal so here goes.

been noticing some mild increase in the idea of transitioning, nothing huge but a noticeable change all the same, not quite sure what to think of it.

I think this is normal. It may be just a passing thought or it may be the beginning of something far greater. If you want to explore these feelings, I would suggest making a list of feminine activities or behaviors to engage in and go from there. You could try painting your fingernails every day for a few weeks, growing your hair out, or try to develop a more feminine sounding voice. Paying close attention to your feelings when you're doing this may help you determine whether transitioning is something you're really considering or not.

If she's willing, I'm sure Emma can give you some advice on this.

Fingernails & Hair are out of the question, either would get a LOT of unwanted Scrutiny from my Parents or Relatives, possibly even outing me to them, outing myself to my parents/relatives would be at least 95% likely to be the last time any of them would even acknowledge my existence.

I don't want to add that kind of hell to myself unnecessarily.

and besides, like I said the increase in interest is small anyway.