06-11-2017, 04:33 PM
The term autogynephile is disputed by the transsexuals because it involves the sexual reactions ...
(06-11-2017, 05:57 PM)Katie Wrote: what woman Wouldn`t get excited about finaly having the right parts in the right places? despite the Patriarchal beleif, Women are sexual creatures too! and to finally be rid of this...`Thing` that totally shouldn`t be there but is, like a tumourous deformity and have the parts that our brians Expect to be there, and are wired and mapped in for, IS kind of exciting, who Wouldn`t want to be normal and be able to enjoy sex for the first time?
And no, in my instance I didn`t try NBE for any sexual reasons, I did it in the hope of feeling MENTALLY right, it was Never about boobs or sex or the body for me, I`d tried everything else from drink and drugs and love and self-help books etc... so why not! can`t hurt to try if everything else has failed, and I knew it was quite safe to do for 3 months.
The fact my brain was like "Yay!!! you Finally figured it out!" is purely down to the roulette game that is NBE
(09-11-2017, 12:09 AM)RunsWthSzissors Wrote: It's been a while since I've posted on BN, but I wanted to answer Julie's original post and comment on some of the other tangents that evolved.
RE: the OP--I was taking estradiol valerate injections for at least 4 years and you can find some of my experiences with them in previous posts, some under this username, some under un=chrishoney. Yes, HRT definitely quieted all the cross-dressing and gender dysphoria noise for me. It actually got so quiet I sometimes wondered why I was taking HRT. I turned 60 this year, so obviously I started using HRT in my 50's but found I didn't need AA's to promote breast growth, which I definitely achieved. I'm a full 38b (at least in the bras I wear, in some brands I pretty much fill a c-cup).
I got all the other benefits as well: softer skin, younger appearance (had several clients remark on that, thinking I was doing something different with my hair), reduced (almost eliminated on my torso) and much finer body hair, all my body hair also lightened considerably, hips and butt bigger. As someone else said, I stopped having to worry about body odor, even post workout. I just didn't smell anymore and I became very sensitive to male BO, in particular that of my son and his friends! Damn, teenage boys stink! I have continued to workout regularly, and did not really notice a huge difference there, even in upper body workouts. That last may be due to the lack of pharmaceutical AA's AND my personality and drive to maintain upper body strength for my occupation.
I also experienced a nearly complete lack of desire for cross dressing and wouldn't indulge in that for weeks or months at a time, other than the sports bras and/or compression vests I need to wear daily at work. After maybe a year of weekly injections, I also had little interest in sex, unless my partner brought it up. Yes, I had a live-in girl friend for 2+ years toward the end there. It wasn't until I had been taking red reishi mushroom powder for a couple months that I began to have trouble getting sexually aroused. Prior to the reishi, I could get aroused (sometimes it required more effort than others) but most of the time it just never occurred to me. No morning wood and no spontaneous erections--that was a welcome relief. Masturbation and porn? At that time, I very rarely indulged, even before I got together with my GF. However, the reishi definitely knocked the stuffing out of wee willie winky down below. There were many times I couldn't even achieve an erection, and orgasms almost never involved more than a clear drop or three, when I could achieve one. By the end of that period taking HRT, my testicles had shrunk markedly and for the most part no longer even hung down visibly. I have old photos in which my scrotum had shrunk so much, it looked like I'd had an orchiectomy.
Over the years, for various reasons I attempted to stop taking HRT and would invariably realize that the mental calm and lack of noise was one of the main reasons I was taking it. I also found it VERY difficult to quick taking it, to the point I was literally concerned I was addicted. It's not true habituation, but if I went cold turkey, I got severe withdrawal symptoms, basically like intense menopause--anxious, hot flashes, sweating profusely, nausea, intense headaches, dizziness and a profound malaise/lack of energy. By trial and error I discovered that slowly weaning myself off it over about 6 to 8 weeks was much easier to tolerate. I tried to stop several times during that period for various reasons but ultimately stopped a while ago because I was getting pronounced edema in my feet and ankles after injecting.
I guess I've been off HRT going on two years now. Some of the noise has definitely returned, though not back to pre-NBE days, and truth be told, I don't really see it as noise like I did before (that's a whole other discussion.) I am back to taking one to two PM caps/day but nothing else for NBE. For the most part, the breasts I have now (yes, they're permanent) are fine. My testicles have enlarged but not back to their old size and yes I now ejaculate when I masturbate (between GF's at the moment) but definitely not like the old days. The sex I had with my last GF (thankfully!) wasn't centered around my dick and me getting off, and I actually prefer it that way. I have had several nipple/breast orgasms and those were amazing!!! My philosophy now is "She Comes First!"
Am I trans? Absolutely. Do I hate my genitals, no, not at all. But then I really never fit on the gender binary the TG "Binary Nazis" feel like they need to enforce in places like Susans. They would say I'm NOT really trans and shouldn't take HRT, or anything else for that matter. They're close-minded, short-sighted and just plain wrong. But I'm OK with that; I just don't go to their part of the universe anymore. I DO think low dose HRT is a VERY viable option for those who choose not to transition but need help with GD/Trans pain.
And for the person who brought up Autogynephilia, do realize that's a pretty controversial and VERY disputed theory/term originated by Ray Blanchard who really had NO fucking idea what he was talking about. My cross-dressing and GD started well before I became sexually active and only later became associated with sexual self-gratification. Blanchard and, dare I say, most docs these days can't imagine why/how a "man" (who isn't somehow sick/impaired/dysfunctional, and hence the old classification as paraphilia in previous versions of the DSM) would want give up being a man, let alone empathize with non-binaries like myself. Frankly it strikes me as VERY misogynistic but also makes them entirely incapable of understanding the literal, existential pain trans people face day in and day out. Basically he came up with that idea because he couldn't understand what his patients were telling him. In some circles it's a fighting word. I think on this site, and some others I've visited, trans folks are taking it back and redefining it more accurately and positively, much the way blacks re-appropriated the N word. But that's just my theory.