Yea its a fetish for me now and maybe a bit more but I know for sure i am not 100% male brained. My first time questioning my gender was all the way in kindergarten at the playtime dress up wardrobe. I always wanted to wear the pink frilly dress but pretended to be one of the boys and followed their examples because I felt the pressure of conforming.
I remember cross-dressing as early as the 1st & 2nd grade and remember floating in my bath tub with salts pretending i was a girl named Jasmine and was suddenly fem(little did i know I was doing sensory deprivation meditation).
I loved when my teachers would wear high heels and nylons, I would fantasize and it would affect my grades and noticing all the wonderful sexy girls in Middle and High School wanting so bad to be like that for a day.
I remember the night my Mother woke me up because i wet the bed and i had an alarm connected to me and I didn't wake up. She caught me wearing her satin pink night slip and thong and woke my dad up and they both interrogated me. (Maybe I should have come clean there and then about what I was to them) I remember sneaking into their room super late at night so i can grab panties or something femme so i can go to sleep wearing it.
Middle School was when i first started to shave my legs but only did the calves and upper thighs. Then because of puberty the clothes stopped fitting me and I was starting to get into American Football / Sports and by high-school my cross-dressing subsided for a bit until 3 years ago when i bought an epilator. Now, being 29 I have a Feminization Program to better suit how i feel on the inside, not quite male and not quite female.
I guess in a way I have come full circle back to my childhood ways. So do i think it's a fetish? Kind of but I know for sure its something deeper. Some of my earliest memories are of me in my mothers clothes wishing I could resemble something feminine, but i still wanted to remain a boy. It's so perplexing at times but I know I am happy to be who I am at all times and thank god for giving me consciousness.
So once again I will answer that question, Yes its a Fetish and Yes its something more then a fetish, I wonder to myself that if i was born in late 90's I probably would be Transgendered but I know everything happens for a reason so maybe I will find out sooner or later what my real situation on this floating rock in the void truly is.
~Happy Growing
Fighter365