Dear Sofia,
I've read your story with a great interest and I have to tell that it was as if I felt all the emotions you've experienced. I even had to stop several times to breath, think what would I feel or how would I react.
I will be the nice one, OK? I won't blame you, I won't criticize you (much
) and I'll definitely won't think anything bad about you.
I think that something similar could happen to many of us. One comes to conclusion that women really are more vulnerable than men and T-girls maybe even more. And it applies not only to environment of bars or clubs. Genetic girls learn their lessons slowly, mostly indirectly during their childhood and adolescence. I feel they are conditioned to be more conscious about their surroundings and possible dangers. We lack that kind of "training" and we have to re-learn our ways. We just have to get that proper feminine attitude. Moreover, I believe you know that there are many people consider transgender issues closely connected to sex; we see it all around internet - sissies, daddies, admirers, T-girl escorts, T-porn stars etc. I think you touched this world with your bare unprotected paw, because some clubs are like gateways to this world.
I think your only mistake was that you were a little bit careless. Yes, you are very brave and I admire it, but you were also careless. I also believe, and I can be wrong, that your experience was for the most part a big misunderstanding. You've just wanted to find like-minded friend, but the other person wanted something else. However, it went way beyond misunderstanding when you said no, because no is a NO. Trying to push you further was really unacceptable. So from this point you've made no mistake and only the other person is to blame.
I am not an expert in STDs, but I think that the probability you've caught something is really small. But, for peace of your mind, you've done well that you've got yourself examined. I hope everything will be OK.
Ah, one more thing. I would think twice to tell all of your experiences to your wife. The only reason important enough would be the very slim risk of STD. Maybe I am quite cynical, but other that that it won't do any good to spill everything to her. It will hurt her and if you think you'll feel better or relieved, you won't, believe me.
So to conclude - you've made an important experience. You've learnt a lot. You are one big leap ahead of many of us. It is important that you remember your lesson next time. (*HUGS*)^2
Poly
I've read your story with a great interest and I have to tell that it was as if I felt all the emotions you've experienced. I even had to stop several times to breath, think what would I feel or how would I react.
I will be the nice one, OK? I won't blame you, I won't criticize you (much
) and I'll definitely won't think anything bad about you.I think that something similar could happen to many of us. One comes to conclusion that women really are more vulnerable than men and T-girls maybe even more. And it applies not only to environment of bars or clubs. Genetic girls learn their lessons slowly, mostly indirectly during their childhood and adolescence. I feel they are conditioned to be more conscious about their surroundings and possible dangers. We lack that kind of "training" and we have to re-learn our ways. We just have to get that proper feminine attitude. Moreover, I believe you know that there are many people consider transgender issues closely connected to sex; we see it all around internet - sissies, daddies, admirers, T-girl escorts, T-porn stars etc. I think you touched this world with your bare unprotected paw, because some clubs are like gateways to this world.
I think your only mistake was that you were a little bit careless. Yes, you are very brave and I admire it, but you were also careless. I also believe, and I can be wrong, that your experience was for the most part a big misunderstanding. You've just wanted to find like-minded friend, but the other person wanted something else. However, it went way beyond misunderstanding when you said no, because no is a NO. Trying to push you further was really unacceptable. So from this point you've made no mistake and only the other person is to blame.
I am not an expert in STDs, but I think that the probability you've caught something is really small. But, for peace of your mind, you've done well that you've got yourself examined. I hope everything will be OK.
Ah, one more thing. I would think twice to tell all of your experiences to your wife. The only reason important enough would be the very slim risk of STD. Maybe I am quite cynical, but other that that it won't do any good to spill everything to her. It will hurt her and if you think you'll feel better or relieved, you won't, believe me.
So to conclude - you've made an important experience. You've learnt a lot. You are one big leap ahead of many of us. It is important that you remember your lesson next time. (*HUGS*)^2
Poly
Wow! Quite a tale, Sofia. I am so sorry you had that experience. I know this is not particularly helpful, but it could have been worse. I hope no significant health problems that result.
I support your process of thinking about what unfolded and what you can do to ensure that it doesn't happen again. This instance seems very close to a sexual assault, and it makes more sense to blame the perpetrator than the victim. At the same time, one needs to be careful not to let herself become a victim. Becoming a woman requires a lot more than changing the body, I guess.
Enough lecturing! Be well, learn from it, enjoy who you are becoming.
I support your process of thinking about what unfolded and what you can do to ensure that it doesn't happen again. This instance seems very close to a sexual assault, and it makes more sense to blame the perpetrator than the victim. At the same time, one needs to be careful not to let herself become a victim. Becoming a woman requires a lot more than changing the body, I guess.
Enough lecturing! Be well, learn from it, enjoy who you are becoming.
Re iaboy - Yes iaboy, I had already read it. 
Believe me, that's what was holding me back in the past in regards to going out, was not having a friend to go with. It's completely nerve racking going out to a new place, in a city you're not from and dressed not like you would normally dress. But seeing how no one I physically know knows that part of me, I am kind of in a bind. Cant' get experience and practice if I don't go out, but can't go out because I don't have anyone to go with me. So I took the plunge and dived head first. Unfortunately I was ill prepared and very naive about so many things. I know it's been mentioned, but I really see that now, I really wasn't mentally prepared to be out and about as a female. Now, I'm not sure if I ever will be.
Re Poly - Thank you Poly for your kind words. Yes, you are right, we know how to deal with situations as a male, as that is how we were probably raised. Though I have often heard the tales, and warnings, and often expressed them to friends myself back in the day. Unfortunately it's one thing to be aware, it's completely different to be in it. How often has one said, if it had been me in that situation, I would have done this, or I would have done that. Have you ever been put to the test? I have, it never really goes the way I had said or thought it would. This has definitely been something I won't ever forget, nor should I forget, plenty for me to learn from. Hopefully if I happen to ever venture out again, I will be a LOT more prepared. Regarding my choice of venues, probably not the best of places for me to have gone alone. While I was hoping for a like minded person to talk to, I don't think those were places where people go to make friends. At least not the kind of friends I was interested in. Unfortunately, I am still waiting to hear back in regards to my test results. I thought I would have had them by now. The suspense is eating away at me. In regards to telling my wife, I've heard similar sentiments in the past, surprisingly from females. I know telling her would really do nothing for me in regards to my own guilt, though morally I feel obligated to come clean about it. It is something I will have to live with, though depending on my results could very well be out of my hands. I still need to go through and list out my lessons learned to hopefully help in any future possible outings. Thank you for the HUGS!!!
Re Spanky - Yes my friend, it was a hell of a crazy outing. That has plagued me though, it could have gone much worse. What if I had done things a little differently, could I have ended up in a much much worse situation. I could have fallen prey to ... ugh ... can't think like that, just need to be aware that it could have been much worse. Don't mind the lecture, it was well warranted.
Re BillyBoy - I am not sure exactly what you mean by that comment: Its natural for women to use drinking as an excuse to be wild. I think it goes both ways, men and women use alcohol as an excuse for a LOT of things. And to be clear, I did not use alcohol to go wild. I don't need alcohol to be wild, I am naturally wired. I was just wanting to calm my nerves a bit and relax. Regarding any physical damage to down below, that's all gone. I've always been a fast healer.
Re Julie - Yes Julie, if there is ever a next time, I will be much wiser, and hopefully a lot less careless.
Re Darby -
Thank you Darby!
Believe me, that's what was holding me back in the past in regards to going out, was not having a friend to go with. It's completely nerve racking going out to a new place, in a city you're not from and dressed not like you would normally dress. But seeing how no one I physically know knows that part of me, I am kind of in a bind. Cant' get experience and practice if I don't go out, but can't go out because I don't have anyone to go with me. So I took the plunge and dived head first. Unfortunately I was ill prepared and very naive about so many things. I know it's been mentioned, but I really see that now, I really wasn't mentally prepared to be out and about as a female. Now, I'm not sure if I ever will be.Re Poly - Thank you Poly for your kind words. Yes, you are right, we know how to deal with situations as a male, as that is how we were probably raised. Though I have often heard the tales, and warnings, and often expressed them to friends myself back in the day. Unfortunately it's one thing to be aware, it's completely different to be in it. How often has one said, if it had been me in that situation, I would have done this, or I would have done that. Have you ever been put to the test? I have, it never really goes the way I had said or thought it would. This has definitely been something I won't ever forget, nor should I forget, plenty for me to learn from. Hopefully if I happen to ever venture out again, I will be a LOT more prepared. Regarding my choice of venues, probably not the best of places for me to have gone alone. While I was hoping for a like minded person to talk to, I don't think those were places where people go to make friends. At least not the kind of friends I was interested in. Unfortunately, I am still waiting to hear back in regards to my test results. I thought I would have had them by now. The suspense is eating away at me. In regards to telling my wife, I've heard similar sentiments in the past, surprisingly from females. I know telling her would really do nothing for me in regards to my own guilt, though morally I feel obligated to come clean about it. It is something I will have to live with, though depending on my results could very well be out of my hands. I still need to go through and list out my lessons learned to hopefully help in any future possible outings. Thank you for the HUGS!!!
Re Spanky - Yes my friend, it was a hell of a crazy outing. That has plagued me though, it could have gone much worse. What if I had done things a little differently, could I have ended up in a much much worse situation. I could have fallen prey to ... ugh ... can't think like that, just need to be aware that it could have been much worse. Don't mind the lecture, it was well warranted.
Re BillyBoy - I am not sure exactly what you mean by that comment: Its natural for women to use drinking as an excuse to be wild. I think it goes both ways, men and women use alcohol as an excuse for a LOT of things. And to be clear, I did not use alcohol to go wild. I don't need alcohol to be wild, I am naturally wired. I was just wanting to calm my nerves a bit and relax. Regarding any physical damage to down below, that's all gone. I've always been a fast healer.
Re Julie - Yes Julie, if there is ever a next time, I will be much wiser, and hopefully a lot less careless.
Re Darby -
Thank you Darby!
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