I know that for me when I first started NBE, I was very apprehensive about what I was getting into. Hell, I was afraid of what seemed like a vast mire filled with quicksand and poisonous snakes...LOL
I read just about every thread in the bio-males section trying to understand what I was getting into before I finally sent off my order for two bottles of PM capsules. Even then I was filled with anxiety about what I was doing.
There were two big fears that I had at the beginning:
1. Could I mess up my health?
2. How will I deal with the embarrassment of explaining my feminine breasts to family and friends?
I know these fears seem rather trivial now, but that's what was foremost in my mind at the time.
So, as a point of discussion, what were you most afraid of when you set out on your NBE journey? For extra credit: why?
Clara
Mostly number 2. Having anyone else know. At the moment, I work at a VERY prejudiced and homophobic place; I just got my best friend back in my life and I don't think she's the kind that'd be happy to know that her best friend is growing tits, so I don't want to risk losing her again; my family are also very prejudiced and homophobic, just not quite as much as those I work with; being slightly famous via the band (I STILL get people on the street telling me how great we were and we broke up 9 years ago!!), although, I'm sure most of the fans would be able to deal with me having tits, especially since they were so supportive of me wearing a skirt and pantyhose on stage all those years, but, maybe if I still HAD the fame and a band, it'd be a LOT easier to go through with it; being as tall as I am, I already stick out in a crowd like a sore thumb and, all I have to do is go out in public in VERY normal clothes and I'll get laughed at, but, thank Buddha I'm not affiliated with any brand of religion, so I don't have to worry about upsetting any of THOSE types. Love thy fellow man as thyself.....unless they do things you don't agree with, then you can kill them if you want in the name of your chosen brand of god.
On one hand, I think: it's MY life, it's MY body, I can bloody well do what I want!! But, at the same time, I'm sitting here watching my life pass me by and not getting ANY younger and hardly growing my tits at all because OTHER people, who VERY obviously do whatever THEY want, will make fun of me!! Why is it just ME that's not allowed to be happy or express MYSELF the way I see fit????
I'd have to say my biggest fear was rejection by my wife. I can't imagine life without her. She isn't thrilled that I am growing breasts, but she definitely prefers the person I am when I'm on PM.
I didn't tell her that I was taking a break from PM during April (I did start again on May 1st), and she absolutely noticed that I was reverting back to the person I was before.
Misty
(10-05-2014, 10:46 PM)Misty0732 Wrote: [ -> ]I'd have to say my biggest fear was rejection by my wife. I can't imagine life without her. She isn't thrilled that I am growing breasts, but she definitely prefers the person I am when I'm on PM.
I didn't tell her that I was taking a break from PM during April (I did start again on May 1st), and she absolutely noticed that I was reverting back to the person I was before.
Misty
I, too, worried about my wife's reaction. It took a long while to work up to telling her straight out that I was TG. I told her about my taking PM a couple of weeks after that. I was surprised that she was not visibly perturbed. She said it explained some of the changes that had come over me, and that she liked that I treated her with more respect, sensitivity, and interest. She even said that she didn't object to my developing breasts if it came to that and it was what I needed to be happy. I guess seeing me happy makes her happy, as well. Lucky me.
Clara
(10-05-2014, 11:15 PM)ClaraKay Wrote: [ -> ] (10-05-2014, 10:46 PM)Misty0732 Wrote: [ -> ]I'd have to say my biggest fear was rejection by my wife. I can't imagine life without her. She isn't thrilled that I am growing breasts, but she definitely prefers the person I am when I'm on PM.
I didn't tell her that I was taking a break from PM during April (I did start again on May 1st), and she absolutely noticed that I was reverting back to the person I was before.
Misty
I, too, worried about my wife's reaction. It took a long while to work up to telling her straight out that I was TG. I told her about my taking PM a couple of weeks after that. I was surprised that she was not visibly perturbed. She said it explained some of the changes that had come over me, and that she liked that I treated her with more respect, sensitivity, and interest. She even said that she didn't object to my developing breasts if it came to that and it was what I needed to be happy. I guess seeing me happy makes her happy, as well. Lucky me.
Clara
She sounds like a keeper!!!! Lucky you, indeed!!!! Sounds like your happiness is what matters to her!! Most don't see it that way.
I cannot say that fear, as you mean, really entered into the equation at all for me, Clara. Though I had feared discovery for years when I dressing only secretly, by the time I set out to grow breasts I had become so desperate that I no longer cared... I knew I had to do something or I was going to go crazy.
I have heard many transwomen describe the moment when they decided to go full time as a moment when they realized the only other choice was death...literally a life or death decision, and with no real choice possible.
Though I was not at that point, certainly, the moment did bear some similarities.
Fear of discovery was the least of my concerns.
Hi Clara, for me it has to be No2 also, however, I am somewhat prepared just to say " I have a hormone problem and just accept it" . I have had a degree of gynecomastia for many years and until my breasts get really large I will get away with it.
My wife on the other hand is another story, she has commented that they seem to be growing, I chickened out and just laughed opposed to coming clean. I'm not proud of it bur I didn't want any more waves to rock the frail boat. She is not stupid and can be very formidable so I am trying the drip feed approach.
The drip feed approach has currently sparked clipped replies and tactical silences no matter how extra kind and thoughtful I am. Oh well, better luck next time.
I am really happy for you girls that have understanding wives and are willing to support your GD etc. my time will come but it is years away I suspect. Clara, I loved your 'Back to the future' analogy stepping back in time to transition. I would not hesitate for 1 microsecond ........dreaming I'm always dreaming !
Lots of love to you all.
Hugs
Heather X
Hi Heather, it's always nice to read your posts.
Yes, the recalcitrant S.O. can be a formidable challenge to get to understand our TG natures. I can't say I have any advice to give you along that line. It may take many months of work on your part.
Concerning the subject of this thread, I'm considering joining a CD/TG support group in my locale as a logical next step to my late-life transitioning. I'm going to ask my wife to join, too. One thing I'm somewhat concerned about (fear is too strong a word in this case) is the possibility of us growing apart if I start engaging in a social life that excludes her. Not a good thing, I'm sure. The group welcomes S.O. participation and I'm hoping that there will be other wives of guys like me there that she will come to like. It would be nice to have some friends who you don't have to guard your little 'secret' from.
Clara
(11-05-2014, 04:39 PM)ClaraKay Wrote: [ -> ]Hi Heather, it's always nice to read your posts.
Yes, the recalcitrant S.O. can be a formidable challenge to get to understand our TG natures. I can't say I have any advice to give you along that line. It may take many months of work on your part.
Concerning the subject of this thread, I'm considering joining a CD/TG support group in my locale as a logical next step to my late-life transitioning. I'm going to ask my wife to join, too. One thing I'm somewhat concerned about (fear is too strong a word in this case) is the possibility of us growing apart if I start engaging in a social life that excludes her. Not a good thing, I'm sure. The group welcomes S.O. participation and I'm hoping that there will be other wives of guys like me there that she will come to like. It would be nice to have some friends who you don't have to guard your little 'secret' from.
Clara
Clara, it MIGHT be a good idea to go to the first one alone so you can get the feel of the place. THEN tell the wife about what it's like and you'll have a better idea of what to say to entice her to go along.
Clara, I agree with MM. one of the girls from the other forum attended a CR meeting here for the first time in drab, and with her wife. As the place began filling with fully dressed girls, the wife became extremely uncomfortable and had to leave. Thankfully, their relationship is strong and they are working through things and the girl is coming to the next meeting dressed.
But a first time solo recon might be a good idea.