The effect of PM on my sex life has been profound and unexpected. As I've written on other threads, I never got the pleasure I assumed I should as a man engaging in normal sexual intercourse. That seems to be a common characteristic of many cross gendered men. That is, we often prefer to be on the receiving end rather than the delivering end in our sexual relations. I've always experienced strong arousal response when my wife took charge, and later in life I encouraged it, but, alas, that is not her natural inclination.
My early experience with anal sex was not very good. I would always lose my erection when penetrated anally, which sent the message to my lover that I was turned off by it, even though I experienced pleasurable sensation when the prostate was massaged. Losing an erection during sex was always a problem for me that made twosome sex stressful for me when it should have been sensual and satisfying.
Eventually, I overcame my reluctance to engage in anal sex and found it immensely pleasurable, but, sadly, never orgasm inducing. My wife was more than happy to engage in anal sex with me as the recipient, never herself, and this form of sex seemed to satisfy my need to play the role of a woman in bed. Somehow, the need for male orgasm faded such that I came away from a love making session quite satisfied. Like you, Annie, I also found it very satisfying to give my wife an orgasm in whatever way she preferred, which, fortunately, doesn't often require penile penetration.
Since taking PM, my need for orgasmic sex has dropped way, way down, on par with that of my post-menopausal wife. Our need for intimacy is still alive though, and we often share moments of tenderness together with no expectation of completing the sex act. If it happens, it happens. If not, it's no longer a source of frustration or feelings of sexual inadequacy.
My original intention of maintaining my male sexual function, which seemed very important to me at the start of NBE, has become less so with each passing month. Anal sex has also, surprisingly, not taken on any importance. In fact, it has stopped entirely. When I think about it, it seems unfortunate because the memory of the pleasurable sensations it produced is still with me, but the desire is not. It's like PM has turned me into an asexual person. Has this happened to any of you? Was there something you did to bring orgasmic sex back into your life?
Clara