Are you sure about that? That's like me saying hypothetically, what do you know, you are not a biological woman. You have no idea what its like as a genetic woman fulfilling the wife role, how this hampers the family dynamic, my perspective of my husband, feeling insecure that he will won't pull his weight and be the head of household like we need because hes too hung up on his desires to CD and. unfortunately, we are not equals (biologically speaking). Its only natural for a wife to feel secure with a man who is sure of himself, honest, and fulfilling his husbandly duties. We are the weaker sex, so no need to be macho, but please, stay masculine, we need that strength. Its just how most women are biologically wired. We feel safe and secure with a masculine man.
I could go on saying one doesn't know what they are talking about when claiming they are female inside, while male on the outside. How can one prove with tests they are female while their genetics gave them the opposite sex as a gender?
Continuing to also say like many wives have about their partners, that they would never be female, therefore, not know what it is like to be one. How on earth could one identify themselves as such in any way when they are already male?
Things that I am seeing with the in between:
Many of you claim to be straight. But are you? Do you find yourself attracted to your gender and are either okay with or fighting it?
Uncertainty: If you are uncertain about why you do certain things or what you should truly identify with, when you yourself may not quite have figured it out. How can you say you know what you are talking about?
Acceptance: You wish for your SO,close ones to accept you. But you have been fighting it off/on or all the time, struggling throughout your life. So how can you expect the majority to accept you as you are?
Male Mode: functioning as a bio male is obviously not so bad at all. Because if it were so, you'd be screaming to get out of the body you are in. Some of you want to stay on the borderline because they want the best of both worlds, mentally, spiritually, sexually and physically.Many do not want to lose the male functions, some of you just want to tame it.
A form of Entitlement: That "why can't I." But you do. Just not as comfortably as you'd like. You wish the world would see you as both male and female or just accept you as you are.
I think its the inbetween that struggles more to understand than anyone who isn't in the category. I dont envy this, I feel for those of you that never get peace.
I just know most straight women and being married myself before.
That is coming from a woman who loves to be in control of things, I'm a topper, I don't want to be suzy homemaker, I want to make my own money and a man who stays home with the kids is fine by me, but when it comes down to hard times, Id like to think he can take over and let me rest, but also no matter what, do all the heavy hardcore things around the house and make the final family decisions (though I fight my controlling nature), I don't want to see him feminizing himself in any way, killing his muscle strength and assertive nature.
I have a feeling people will never understand one another, you just have to believe what YOU believe YOU cannot speak for other CD'ers whether it be TG related or something else entirely nor speak for those who don't understand. Its just as much of a responsibility on your part as it is the SO.
I would also be envious of those who knew early on, they are in the wrong body. I have a feeling it might be spiritually related for some of you and that being male isnt so terrible at all, its just that you have been female before this life and carry your character traits with you, so you may be discovering so much of real self as time goes on, its familiar, its comforting. That may be where the feminine expression comes from.
When I was a little girl, I felt like a boy. Not all the time, just sometimes. I would walk around shirtless in my underwear believing I was a boy when I was 6. The feelings of gender resentment happened in highschool. I hated having a menstrual cycle, I felt very insecure! Was jealous of the guys. I hated guys, was very confused, was hardly attracted to them! I made myself date them. Until I met my first real serious relationship. I fell in love with his whole person. He wore long hair, was not at all macho. Very soft hearted.
There were times during my marriage, I wondered what it was like to be a full on male version of myself and if I would switch if I could, I came to conclusion, we are probably all with male to female innards and that I wouldn't change my gender, that I was just fine being either and in this life, I am female and feminine for the most part. I found it unnecessary to express that I have a male side. That's the contradiction to the statement above, how the hell would I know what it is to be male! Or have a male part inside of me??
If God told me I had to chose between an less attractive woman or a gorgeous looking male, I'd choose to be the gorgeous male.
I was told by more than one psychic I had been male before in a past life but in this life Im female. I truly believe that. But it does not mean it is a fact. So we could talk all we want as we are, whether it be inbetween, TG, Pan, vite, typ male or female. We'll never be able to prove we've figured it out.
Im not in resentment, fighting with myself on what I should have been anymore. I got over myself! Like you, I like what I like, who I like, I think the difference is, I love playing my actual gender role, though I'm no high maintanence girly girl, Im somewhere inbetween. And if I were male, Id imagine Id love to play the male role as well, not being at all macho, just a dude who loves the ladies and perhaps find men attractive.
(26-04-2014, 03:23 PM)ClaraKay Wrote: [ -> ] (26-04-2014, 02:26 PM)tibetan113 Wrote: [ -> ]BTW, I'm not talking about TG's. I know its only a percentage and the spectrum is broad. I'm talking about the in betweens and those who claim to be straight.
I hate to have to say this, Tibetan, but this comment, more than anything, shows how little you know about gender identity variation as an in-born condition. I suggest that you educate yourself in the subject area before engaging in further discussion. A good place to start is Dr. Anne Vitale's book The Gendered Self. It will correct a lot of misconceptions you have about transgenderism.
Clara 
@ Annabel,
that rather not know thing is fear based. That's because she either felt she married you with secrets and the initial was shocking enough, so what more shall she find out, or she knew all along of your characteristic tendencies and is in denial.
I can see if you are just barely breaking the news, that would do it to her like marrying under false pretenses.
I have a feeling if men were just honest with themselves from the get go, they'd find someone for them, that is accepting. All of this would have never been. Sure, fam may not take it to well, but that's un avoidable.
"look, I'm this way and was eversince I could remember, don't know why, just am. If you can accept me for as I am, we can make it. I wont break your trust or your heart."
I could see a typical situation of co parenting/best friendship if doesn't work out, being closer to your partner and actually being happy if it does.
Not in this lifetime, anyway. Was that TMI? 
