So I have come out to my wife and started therapy. She is really starting to dig the idea of her being percieved as a lesbian once I go full time. But first she wants kids. That puts a damper on me taking pm or going on hrt and furthering my feminization right now. Any advice to help keep growing and changing while keeping my reproduction a bit longer functional?
(04-02-2013, 08:48 PM)Michelle Moonstar Wrote: [ -> ]So I have come out to my wife and started therapy. She is really starting to dig the idea of her being percieved as a lesbian once I go full time. But first she wants kids. That puts a damper on me taking pm or going on hrt and furthering my feminization right now. Any advice to help keep growing and changing while keeping my reproduction a bit longer functional?
It would seem the obvious answer would be load up at a sperm bank. I suppose it could also depend on how many children the two of you want to have and how soon you want to have them.
Misty
(04-02-2013, 08:48 PM)Michelle Moonstar Wrote: [ -> ]Any advice to help keep growing and changing while keeping my reproduction a bit longer functional?
I agree with Misty. Using the sperm bank would probably be the best way to have children later on in case pm lowers your sperm count at a faster rate than expected. Something else you could try is going cold turkey with pm a few days out of every month. I know some members take Butea Superba to maintain functionality. I'm not sure if this helps with maintaining a normal sperm count.
Widh I could afford the sperm bank but not in the cards right now :'(
If you can't afford to bank sperm you can't afford a child. Problem solved.
If you can't use a sperm bank, how about a sperm donor later on when the time is right for her to get pregnant?
Michelle - there are some things you need to consider.
First, medications can damage sperm. For instance if you are on Finasteride or Dutasteride, to block DHT, they can cause massive birth defects in male foetuses. It is not even safe for women of child bearing age to handle these drugs (even though they are coated) because they are absorbed through the skin. Dutasteride has a half-life in the body of 5 weeks, Finasteride is less.
Second, any estrogenic compound may reduce overall sperm levels. You may need to give your system time to recover from the effects of PM. If you go on HRT then you can forget fathering kids as permanent sterility is very likely - in fact you should expect to become sterile as part of the process. Many people seem to think that they will have 6 months of a year before sterility hits on HRT, but I know of at least one person who was sterile after a few weeks HRT.
Finally, your wife may "dig" the idea of being a lesbian but you both need to appreciate what full HRT will do to your libido. Basically, it will vanish. She will have to learn to deal with the fact that you are unlikely to initiate sex because it will never cross your mind so she better be happy with becoming the leading partner as far as that goes.
If children are important to you both then I suspect you will have to stop all NBE or HRT, give your system 3 to 6 months to clear everything out and then get your sperm checked. If at that point it all looks ok then go for it, but you will have no way of knowing if lasting damage has been done until the child starts to develop.
I am sorry to be so negative about this, but you are facing some difficult choices and there are no easy answers.
I don't want to be a buzzkill, but I worry a lot for your children if you don't bite the bullet and get off the feminization train well before trying for kids. There is too much risk for them which they get no say in, and is completely avoidable. Perhaps you can satisfy your urges while waiting by crossdressing more and role playing more. Get forms, a wig, nicer lingerie, sashay around the house more, whatever. I don't know of anything to help with growth and feminization other than perhaps pumping or the nipple toys that isn't a risk for the unconceived.
Just as a point of reference for those thinking of going down this road, at some three years into the PM diet, I now achieve, shall we say ... tumescence ... only rarely, and usually with the aid of small purple-blue pills. And, without wanting to be, shall we say ... indelicate ..., the end result produces something entirely clear and watery and of a very low volume. Hard to think anything is alive in there. Just a FYI for the interested. OK, all done now.
(05-02-2013, 12:44 PM)beverley.rose Wrote: [ -> ]Finally, your wife may "dig" the idea of being a lesbian but you both need to appreciate what full HRT will do to your libido. Basically, it will vanish. She will have to learn to deal with the fact that you are unlikely to initiate sex because it will never cross your mind so she better be happy with becoming the leading partner as far as that goes.
This is not neccesarily true for everyone, HRT does not completely kill it. Everyone is different, however it depends on your T levels, as long as they don't bottom out completely, most people still have some libido. If they get too low you can tell your Endo to adjust your dosage.
For me atleast, I've lost the urge to masturbate and I don't get spontaneous erections anymore. But a little mental stimulation (porn, hot guy, fantazing about it) and the urge is just as strong as it ever was to actually do it (not to masturbate, I could go forever without masturbating) but it's far harder to ejaculate. For me I'm only turned on by being subimissive which is normal for most females I guess, but beverley.rose is right, your wife might need to take on a dominant role to arouse you.
But not always, I've known transwomen who are doms only and were aroused pre-op by it too. Not everyone is the same, you will just have to find out.