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General question about when you knew there was no going back

#1

For those who have gone far in their journey and changed their general male body to be more femine - was there a time where you recognized  that you had made enough progress that there was no revering or going back to your former (male) self .  Not saying you would have wanted to go back , I'm just interested if you knew and recognized you were at that point in development, how you felt at that recognition moment and, how you felt knowing there was no going back?
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#2

(17-11-2017, 03:01 PM)JeanniePA Wrote:  For those who have gone far in their journey and changed their general male body to be more femine - was there a time where you recognized  that you had made enough progress that there was no revering or going back to your former (male) self .  Not saying you would have wanted to go back , I'm just interested if you knew and recognized you were at that point in development, how you felt at that recognition moment and, how you felt knowing there was no going back?

The first no turning back was the day I decided to transition...I committed to either transition or die, and within 30 days I crossed the continental united states and started to take estrogenic agents

Two years into feminizing therapy was when I physically realized there was no turning back, and it was a bit sad.  Before that I could slum it and just go out as a boy if I didn't feel well....after two years if I tried to slum it as a boy I just looked like a confused lesbian with a lunch lady mustache.

Last year I realized I could turn back, and I did.  I needed a job before my second child was born, so I did research on what transmen do.  I bound my tits, deepended my voice, and grew out a beard (the last place that laser hasn't been able to remove hair).  I still came across as a fruitcake, but my attitude and physique prevented troubles.  I went and did oil field work for three months, then dropped out and went back to living as a woman.  To this day I ocassionally crossdress as a boy for S&G's
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#3

I guess for me it really depends on how I look at it, my reaction after the first week was enough for me to know I Never wanted to go back or be Off Estrogen. Physically and I`m already past that point of no return now, i can`t actually say there was a specific moment as such.
Trans men transition all the time, so with that in mind, is there actually any point of no return?
I can never become a man because I`v never actually been one and no surgery or HRT can alter your Gender, for me to re-resemble one again would require surgery, acting lessons, a wig (or hair dye and cut), substanial amounts of alcohol and good deal of bribe money! LOL

but even then it could only be as a temporary act, because my real name would still be Katherine and all my legal docs are in my name too, so I couldn`t Live as one.

so take your pick, at what point was it No return? Big Grin
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#4

Katie

Your point of no return when was you became 

Hot

Which was pretty damn quick

X

Julie
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#5

Awww, Thank you babes, you`re such a sweetheart! xx
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#6

It was more than a year after I'd started NBE. I just looked soberly at my situation: I'm a guy, yet I'm feeding myself female hormones, I've got breasts for life, I'm paying real money for foolish things like destruction of facial hair. And I love it most of the time - not euphorically, but with sort of deep calm contentment. Even if I don't like all of it all the time, I haven't even once considered stopping for good. I've got no strong family, professional, social ties that would try hard to make me stop. It was obvious I'm very slowly heading towards transition and I should take this "game" more responsibly. I took a phone and made an appointment with sexologist, a first step towards HRT. For me that was the first point of no return.

Second moment, much more emotional, was when I saw myself with feminine haircut. The difference was enormous, a different person in the mirror. I realised I can do it and therefore I must do it, no matter what the cost would be. It was no longer a game, my own life seemed at stakes.

The third moment was when I took it to the public and started openly present as a MtF transgender. 

But. At the moment I've been in a male mode for almost a month. It feels quite okay, safe and comfortable. Dysphoria is mild. Don't quite know what to make of it. But I'm pretty sure if it was to stay this way, it would have turned out to be a pointless life, just distracting myself while waiting for the final hour of devastating regret. No way back man!
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#7

Quote:The first no turning back was the day I decided to transition...I committed to either transition or die
^This.
I wouldn't necessarily encourage this attitude in the same way that I wouldn't encourage drug use (including alcohol and weed), but approaching the big 4-0 I'm changing my outlook on life. I have some major obstacles right now so I don't know if there will be a happy ending or if it will be me as a girl or not, but then no one really knows how their life is going to turn out.
On that topic, I read a very long and somewhat confusing article (read at your own risk Tongue ), but it had a very poignant conclusion.

Quote:This is a story, not so much of disobedience as of non-obedience. The master is not rebelled against, so much as not believed in. Those who have set themselves up as potential masters of one’s life story are no longer invested with that power. They are a material force to contend with, but otherwise a matter of supreme indifference. Not every decision taken on the road to being trans has to be assumed to be well-taken. Not everyone who considers transitioning would be wise to go through with it, at least without analysing the desire. Not every trans story has to have a happy-ever-after (and, when you think about it, no story worth reading does). Many stories go on needing to be re-written; the first edit is never our own, but it doesn’t have to be the final edit either, because there need never be a final edit. And at the heart of this experience there remains a mystery, something indeed as yet “beyond language”. Trans is not a straightforward answer to a well-defined question.
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#8

Good question..its all in steps, no real definate time.

My first thoughts were to take PM, just to keep the noise down. 
Followed by appointments with various therapists to try and get to the bottom of my problems. ( you are transgender )
When trying to stop PM, and just getting very depressed, and emotional.
Finally seeing a transgender phsycologist and getting on hormones.
Last year going on a family vacation in cuba, wearing a tight tank top, to hide my chest.
This year, realising that even a tight tanktop will not work.
Having to wear a sports Bra, every day.
I am still living 80% male, but its just a matter if time now.
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