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Dazed and Confused

#1

Good Evening or Morning depending on where you may live,

I'm a biological male, and trying to figure out who I am in life at the moment based upon some recent discoveries. So for now you can call me Ali. 

I started on this journey 8 months ago. The first few months were pure research, I researched everything under the sun as I felt like something was knocking on my internal door to come out. The hard part was a lot of stories and moments were from years ago or early 2016, but nothing from 2017 but I wasn't going to quit, if I had to I'd pave my own way.
Now to set the background, I am not gay, I never ever considered the thought nor will I. I love women for whom they/we are and it is where I will remain. I have been married for the last 17 years this coming September. That being said I have not come out to anyone yet as the jury is still out on which way I will go. I spent a lot of time and have gathered up what I thought were good solid personal leads and stories of particular dosages and set out to do the medical research. I had my blood tested for testosterone levels and estrogen levels in January 2017 and they were all normal. I did all my measurements, head, neck, arms, forearms, wrists, breasts, bust and chest, hips, thighs, calves and ankles. My measurements in March 2017 underneath my breasts was 46" and it was 47" on top of the nipple. I originally thought I would start with Bovine Ovary but then everything I read was that after 6 months it was permanent and I wasn't sure. (Come to find out, it's not permanent, only certain aspects of the results may be permanent). So I decided to go with PM anyhow. 
6 months ago I started taking PM, Fenugreek, Blessed Thistle and Saw Palmetto, I believe the dosage was each pill x2 four times a day and a dropper of SP. I noticed my breasts did start to get very painful almost two weeks in to it. Then after about three weeks I noticed how my areola's went from being flat to quite puffed outward and my nipples felt like they were being stretched. This went on for about a two weeks and then I started feeling these electric type lightening bolts that would go from around the tops of my breast to my nipple.(best way for me to describe it) this happens about once a month and they get very tender and sore. Then about 4 weeks in to it, I decided I wanted to stop. So I did.. The sensations went away after a week or so but the outward large puffy areola's and nipples standing erect at all times has stayed permanent. I use bandaids to mash them down so they don't protrude through my work shirts.

I was off PM/FG/BT/SP for about two weeks and I was missing being happy and feeling happy. So I started searching within myself and said, go big or go home. So I went back to researching Bovine Ovary. I said this is what I want as it targets a certain area and I know the best way to me being me is feminize myself.

Stopping there for a moment and taking a time portal back, I have always felt that I should of been born a girl. I'm sure there are typical canned stories you hear over and over and that some people use to portray themselves but I never really fit in. All my friends growing up were girls. I had forts and hideouts and all the members were girls. But being born in an era of "man up", I did just that. I wore the uniform of our military as an Infantry soldier just to mask the darkness inside. I've been married twice, have three children and every time I think about what could of been I'd get happy and when i'd get outside those thoughts I wasn't happy. (obviously there is more to this but this is shortened it quite a great deal). 
As I got older, I realized, I am bored being a male. I mean seriously, when you stop and look at it we have the most boring sets of outfits in the universe. Suits, ties, jeans, shorts and all the same colors, shirts button up, polo or T.. thats it.. We have closed toe shoes except flip-flops and they are either tan, black or navy blue. Then you start to psycho-analyze things and try to self-reason and say, who in society said we can't wear the same things as girls? who dictated that? Mostly our parents and society. Yet you look at yesteryear, boys and girls wore the same nightgowns to bed. Back to my point. Women/Girls have so much to choose from, shorts, skirts, skorts, dresses, sun dresses, capri's, sandals, flats, wedges, heels etc etc etc, white, blue, pink, yellow.. why can't guy's be guys, date girls and dress the same? I know, I digress but you see my point. Unless you're feminine it's taboo. 

So I decided, all of our time is numbered here on Earth, be happy being yourself and so that is just what I am doing. Back to the Bovine Ovary. So I ordered Swansons as that seems to be the favorite among most of the boards I've read, mostly because of their purity and quality. Yes one or two maybe stronger dose but this was reputable. 
I also read about taking Pituitary Glandular to help stimulate your pituitary gland and help generate estrogen. Then I read you still need to suppress the testosterone responsible for generating more testosterone. I read taking Solaray Female Hormone SP7c had all those herbs combined including fenugreek and SP among other natural ingredients to help boost estrogen and lower testosterone.
Again, before I started I measured every inch of my body again, unbeknownst to me, from my time doing the PM and others my breasts did grow all by themselves. 
My chest underneath my breasts was still 46" and my breasts were 48.5" Not bad for buds. 

Two weeks in to Bovine Ovary, again my breasts started to feel funny, the same as before on the PM but more intense. The are growing very slowly but over a month noticed they started to become very tubular or flat but definitely bigger. So I did some research on that and discovered from another site that if you use a non-hormone breast enhancement cream that will help build the fat cells around the tubular areas and help round them out. So the top recommended one was Gluteboost Breast Enhancement cream. So I bought it and began applying it to first the flat areas, on top of and underneath. Within two weeks they are in the process of rounding out very nicely, not fully, but noticeable that they are almost cone shaped. Another month or two and it will be in great shape.

Then I started doing Yoga in the morning and at bed time to help get myself in to shape, lose weight and help keep off what could potentially come on. 
Then the magic happened... Mother Nature... 
I noticed I started getting very emotional, one minute happy, one minute sad. In July towards the middle-end of the month I was moody, messy mushy. My wife noticed it as well as did she notice my breasts but didn't say anything about it. She also noticed that I was sweet smelling and not sweaty after working outside all day. Then I started noticing that almost every day. 
Towards the beginning of July I was reading a post on a sister site here about Bovine Ovary Nipple cream that someone homemade and provided the recipe. So I read the medical links of how the nipple can carry medicine not just to the breasts but to other parts of the body. So I made my own recipe which I'll provide below along with my routine. Holy Cow, they weren't kidding.. it does carry it to your body and my breasts felt it and I got a euphoric feeling in my brain. A calming sensation flooded over me almost within 5 mins of applying my first dose. Then I covered my nipple with more and put two bandaids over them to squash them down for my work shirts. Once they dried out, the nipples would essential dissolve it in to itself almost like a time release capsule. All day long.

Here we are today August 15th and last week Tuesday August 10th, 2017 my wife asked me to go to the doctor because she had noticed that my face has changed slightly, she noticed I lost a lot of body mass and my wrists were skinny and she caught me in one of my emotional states and a few other things that were off. So I did, last Thursday August 10th, and I explained it all to my Dr and he began to ask me questions and putting two and two together. About a month ago my hips and pelvic area started getting sore like they want to twist outwards. My jaw feels like its wanting to curl in. I can shave my face and it takes a week to get anything noticeable to pop through where it used to be the same day. I also showed him my breasts and mentioned the sweet smelling body odor. 

He instantly ordered the following blood tests:
Thyroid
Full Testosterone
Pituitary panel
Estrogen Panel

The Dr said it would be next day to get all the results but the Estrogen gets sent to a lab outside their facility so it would be this week (today in fact to get the results)

Exactly on Friday the 11th came the results my Thyroid was normal. My pituitary labs were very slightly below normal for a male but he wasn't alarmed just yet.

My testosterone came back very low. 

Sex Hormone Binding Globulin - My value was 23.80 nmol/L

Normal in a female is 27.8-146 nmol/L
Normal in a Post-menopausal: 12.0-166 nmol/L
Normal in a Male is 17.3-65.8 nmol/L

So mine was closer to the female sex hormone than the males.

TESTOSTERONE FREE  - My value was 5.54 ng/dL
Normal is 6.00 to 27.00 ng/dL

TESTOSTERONE  - My value 240.57 ng/dL
Normal range is 241 - 827 ng/dL

TESTOSTERONE FREE PCT:  my value was 5.54
Normal Range is also 6.00 to 27.00

So today, August 15th, my Dr. called me directly and asked me how I was doing and feeling all the way around and I told him everything I told him last week and some of the new things my wife had noticed about my smells and body language. He took a breath and said, for you being male this is completely abnormal. But someone going through puberty as a female and experiencing all these symptoms I am are completely normal for someone with my estrogen levels. He then proceeded to tell my because of the amount of time I've been on everything and the levels of estrogen my body is going through Aromatase or feminization. My estrogen levels is 188 and has probably been so for 4 or 5 months straight and climbing. Normal for a male is 40-115

TOTAL ESTROGEN - My results is: 188 pg/mL

Normal Female Levels:
Prepubertal: <40pg/mL
Postmenopausal: <40pg/mL

Female Menstrual Cycle:
1-10 days: 61-394 pg/mL
11-20 days: 122-437pg/mL
21-30 days: 156-350pg/mL

HMG Treatment
(Therapeutic range): 400-800pg/mL

Normal Male Levels:
Prepubertal: <40pg/mL
Adult: 40-115 pg/mL

So it's been close to a month since my last measurement so today as a result I took my chest measurements again and I know it's partially the yoga and the breast Enhancement cream but my chest is now 44 underneath the breast and my breasts over the nipple is 48". I measured twice! I was so excited I treated myself to a mani-pedi!

So bottom line is, it depends on the person, your mentality and how much you want it. My dr said I was basically going through Puberty again, only on the other side. 

The hard part now begins... I can stop now and reverse this whole thing or push forward and be happy.. the hard part is everything I built up the last 17 years.. how much is too much or happiness.... thats for me to figure out. 
In the meantime, here is my regiment! I follow this religiously.

Homemade Nipple Cream Recipe:  (Mix well all the following ingredients, store in a airtight container)
30ml (2Tbsp) of 100% Pure Aloe Vera gel
Empty 3 bovine ovary capsules in to the gel
Empty 1 Pituitary glandular capsule in to the gel
Add 5 drops of Fennel Essential oil (burns a little but fennel helps mammary glands grow)

Directions:  Use an alcohol wipe and wipe your nipples and areolas. You should feel a warm sensation in your nipples when done a sign they are clean of any blockages.
Apply a decent glob of Nipple cream to each nipple only try not to get on areola but it will be close to possible. Let air dry for 10 mins.
Cover each nipple with a silicone nipple cover or I just use two bandaids.
I only do this once a day.

My Regiment:

Each Morning:
2 x Bovine Ovary pills
2 x Pituitary Glandular pills
2 x Solaray Female Hormone SP7c herbal blend
1 x Wild Yam
After Shower add my nipple cream
After nipple cream and covers on, I massage in the breast enhancement cream
I do a 30 or 40 minute yoga session depending on my time. (Youtube, go to and subscribe to "Yoga with Adriene" its free and fabulous especially the bedtime yoga!)

Each Lunch:
2 x Bovine Ovary pills
1 x Pituitary Glandular pills
2 x Solaray Female Hormone SP7c herbal blend

Mid-Day Protein Smoothie:
1/2 cup cashew or soy milk
2 Tbsp Protein Powder vanilla
2 Tbsp Steel cut oats
2 Tbsp Flax Seed Meal
1 Banana 
Blend all for 3 minutes on high.
Add Favorite Frozen Fruit and blend until thick.

After Dinner:
2 x Bovine Ovary pills
1 x Pituitary Glandular pills
2 x Solaray Female Hormone SP7c herbal blend

Bedtime:
2 x Bovine Ovary pills
2 x Pituitary Glandular pills
2 x Solaray Female Hormone SP7c herbal blend
1 x Wild Yam
I massage in the breast enhancement cream
I perform deep breast massage for 15 min on each breast.
I do 30 minute bedtime yoga "Yoga with Adriene"

Anyway that how I got it all started and what I do day in.. of course I change up the yoga and shakes but everything else is constant and my Dr said I am in aromatase. So that must mean something.

Thanks everyone, I hope you have luck and success... remember it's different with everyone so don't expect the same results as me but I hope you do get them.

I took pictures but I'm a newbie and don't know how to upload them yet but I will! Until then hit me up with any questions! Nite all...

Luv,
Ali
Reply
#2

(16-08-2017, 07:14 AM)AliP Wrote:  Good Evening or Morning depending on where you may live,

I'm a biological male, and trying to figure out who I am in life at the moment based upon some recent discoveries. So for now you can call me Ali. 

I started on this journey 8 months ago. The first few months were pure research, I researched everything under the sun as I felt like something was knocking on my internal door to come out. The hard part was a lot of stories and moments were from years ago or early 2016, but nothing from 2017 but I wasn't going to quit, if I had to I'd pave my own way.
Now to set the background, I am not gay, I never ever considered the thought nor will I. I love women for whom they/we are and it is where I will remain. I have been married for the last 17 years this coming September. That being said I have not come out to anyone yet as the jury is still out on which way I will go. I spent a lot of time and have gathered up what I thought were good solid personal leads and stories of particular dosages and set out to do the medical research. I had my blood tested for testosterone levels and estrogen levels in January 2017 and they were all normal. I did all my measurements, head, neck, arms, forearms, wrists, breasts, bust and chest, hips, thighs, calves and ankles. My measurements in March 2017 underneath my breasts was 46" and it was 47" on top of the nipple. I originally thought I would start with Bovine Ovary but then everything I read was that after 6 months it was permanent and I wasn't sure. (Come to find out, it's not permanent, only certain aspects of the results may be permanent). So I decided to go with PM anyhow. 
6 months ago I started taking PM, Fenugreek, Blessed Thistle and Saw Palmetto, I believe the dosage was each pill x2 four times a day and a dropper of SP. I noticed my breasts did start to get very painful almost two weeks in to it. Then after about three weeks I noticed how my areola's went from being flat to quite puffed outward and my nipples felt like they were being stretched. This went on for about a two weeks and then I started feeling these electric type lightening bolts that would go from around the tops of my breast to my nipple.(best way for me to describe it) this happens about once a month and they get very tender and sore. Then about 4 weeks in to it, I decided I wanted to stop. So I did.. The sensations went away after a week or so but the outward large puffy areola's and nipples standing erect at all times has stayed permanent. I use bandaids to mash them down so they don't protrude through my work shirts.

I was off PM/FG/BT/SP for about two weeks and I was missing being happy and feeling happy. So I started searching within myself and said, go big or go home. So I went back to researching Bovine Ovary. I said this is what I want as it targets a certain area and I know the best way to me being me is feminize myself.

Stopping there for a moment and taking a time portal back, I have always felt that I should of been born a girl. I'm sure there are typical canned stories you hear over and over and that some people use to portray themselves but I never really fit in. All my friends growing up were girls. I had forts and hideouts and all the members were girls. But being born in an era of "man up", I did just that. I wore the uniform of our military as an Infantry soldier just to mask the darkness inside. I've been married twice, have three children and every time I think about what could of been I'd get happy and when i'd get outside those thoughts I wasn't happy. (obviously there is more to this but this is shortened it quite a great deal). 
As I got older, I realized, I am bored being a male. I mean seriously, when you stop and look at it we have the most boring sets of outfits in the universe. Suits, ties, jeans, shorts and all the same colors, shirts button up, polo or T.. thats it.. We have closed toe shoes except flip-flops and they are either tan, black or navy blue. Then you start to psycho-analyze things and try to self-reason and say, who in society said we can't wear the same things as girls? who dictated that? Mostly our parents and society. Yet you look at yesteryear, boys and girls wore the same nightgowns to bed. Back to my point. Women/Girls have so much to choose from, shorts, skirts, skorts, dresses, sun dresses, capri's, sandals, flats, wedges, heels etc etc etc, white, blue, pink, yellow.. why can't guy's be guys, date girls and dress the same? I know, I digress but you see my point. Unless you're feminine it's taboo. 

So I decided, all of our time is numbered here on Earth, be happy being yourself and so that is just what I am doing. Back to the Bovine Ovary. So I ordered Swansons as that seems to be the favorite among most of the boards I've read, mostly because of their purity and quality. Yes one or two maybe stronger dose but this was reputable. 
I also read about taking Pituitary Glandular to help stimulate your pituitary gland and help generate estrogen. Then I read you still need to suppress the testosterone responsible for generating more testosterone. I read taking Solaray Female Hormone SP7c had all those herbs combined including fenugreek and SP among other natural ingredients to help boost estrogen and lower testosterone.
Again, before I started I measured every inch of my body again, unbeknownst to me, from my time doing the PM and others my breasts did grow all by themselves. 
My chest underneath my breasts was still 46" and my breasts were 48.5" Not bad for buds. 

Two weeks in to Bovine Ovary, again my breasts started to feel funny, the same as before on the PM but more intense. The are growing very slowly but over a month noticed they started to become very tubular or flat but definitely bigger. So I did some research on that and discovered from another site that if you use a non-hormone breast enhancement cream that will help build the fat cells around the tubular areas and help round them out. So the top recommended one was Gluteboost Breast Enhancement cream. So I bought it and began applying it to first the flat areas, on top of and underneath. Within two weeks they are in the process of rounding out very nicely, not fully, but noticeable that they are almost cone shaped. Another month or two and it will be in great shape.

Then I started doing Yoga in the morning and at bed time to help get myself in to shape, lose weight and help keep off what could potentially come on. 
Then the magic happened... Mother Nature... 
I noticed I started getting very emotional, one minute happy, one minute sad. In July towards the middle-end of the month I was moody, messy mushy. My wife noticed it as well as did she notice my breasts but didn't say anything about it. She also noticed that I was sweet smelling and not sweaty after working outside all day. Then I started noticing that almost every day. 
Towards the beginning of July I was reading a post on a sister site here about Bovine Ovary Nipple cream that someone homemade and provided the recipe. So I read the medical links of how the nipple can carry medicine not just to the breasts but to other parts of the body. So I made my own recipe which I'll provide below along with my routine. Holy Cow, they weren't kidding.. it does carry it to your body and my breasts felt it and I got a euphoric feeling in my brain. A calming sensation flooded over me almost within 5 mins of applying my first dose. Then I covered my nipple with more and put two bandaids over them to squash them down for my work shirts. Once they dried out, the nipples would essential dissolve it in to itself almost like a time release capsule. All day long.

Here we are today August 15th and last week Tuesday August 10th, 2017 my wife asked me to go to the doctor because she had noticed that my face has changed slightly, she noticed I lost a lot of body mass and my wrists were skinny and she caught me in one of my emotional states and a few other things that were off. So I did, last Thursday August 10th, and I explained it all to my Dr and he began to ask me questions and putting two and two together. About a month ago my hips and pelvic area started getting sore like they want to twist outwards. My jaw feels like its wanting to curl in. I can shave my face and it takes a week to get anything noticeable to pop through where it used to be the same day. I also showed him my breasts and mentioned the sweet smelling body odor. 

He instantly ordered the following blood tests:
Thyroid
Full Testosterone
Pituitary panel
Estrogen Panel

The Dr said it would be next day to get all the results but the Estrogen gets sent to a lab outside their facility so it would be this week (today in fact to get the results)

Exactly on Friday the 11th came the results my Thyroid was normal. My pituitary labs were very slightly below normal for a male but he wasn't alarmed just yet.

My testosterone came back very low. 

Sex Hormone Binding Globulin - My value was 23.80 nmol/L

Normal in a female is 27.8-146 nmol/L
Normal in a Post-menopausal: 12.0-166 nmol/L
Normal in a Male is 17.3-65.8 nmol/L

So mine was closer to the female sex hormone than the males.

TESTOSTERONE FREE  - My value was 5.54 ng/dL
Normal is 6.00 to 27.00 ng/dL

TESTOSTERONE  - My value 240.57 ng/dL
Normal range is 241 - 827 ng/dL

TESTOSTERONE FREE PCT:  my value was 5.54
Normal Range is also 6.00 to 27.00

So today, August 15th, my Dr. called me directly and asked me how I was doing and feeling all the way around and I told him everything I told him last week and some of the new things my wife had noticed about my smells and body language. He took a breath and said, for you being male this is completely abnormal. But someone going through puberty as a female and experiencing all these symptoms I am are completely normal for someone with my estrogen levels. He then proceeded to tell my because of the amount of time I've been on everything and the levels of estrogen my body is going through Aromatase or feminization. My estrogen levels is 188 and has probably been so for 4 or 5 months straight and climbing. Normal for a male is 40-115

TOTAL ESTROGEN - My results is: 188 pg/mL

Normal Female Levels:
Prepubertal: <40pg/mL
Postmenopausal: <40pg/mL

Female Menstrual Cycle:
1-10 days: 61-394 pg/mL
11-20 days: 122-437pg/mL
21-30 days: 156-350pg/mL

HMG Treatment
(Therapeutic range): 400-800pg/mL

Normal Male Levels:
Prepubertal: <40pg/mL
Adult: 40-115 pg/mL

So it's been close to a month since my last measurement so today as a result I took my chest measurements again and I know it's partially the yoga and the breast Enhancement cream but my chest is now 44 underneath the breast and my breasts over the nipple is 48". I measured twice! I was so excited I treated myself to a mani-pedi!

So bottom line is, it depends on the person, your mentality and how much you want it. My dr said I was basically going through Puberty again, only on the other side. 

The hard part now begins... I can stop now and reverse this whole thing or push forward and be happy.. the hard part is everything I built up the last 17 years.. how much is too much or happiness.... thats for me to figure out. 
In the meantime, here is my regiment! I follow this religiously.

Homemade Nipple Cream Recipe:  (Mix well all the following ingredients, store in a airtight container)
30ml (2Tbsp) of 100% Pure Aloe Vera gel
Empty 3 bovine ovary capsules in to the gel
Empty 1 Pituitary glandular capsule in to the gel
Add 5 drops of Fennel Essential oil (burns a little but fennel helps mammary glands grow)

Directions:  Use an alcohol wipe and wipe your nipples and areolas. You should feel a warm sensation in your nipples when done a sign they are clean of any blockages.
Apply a decent glob of Nipple cream to each nipple only try not to get on areola but it will be close to possible. Let air dry for 10 mins.
Cover each nipple with a silicone nipple cover or I just use two bandaids.
I only do this once a day.

My Regiment:

Each Morning:
2 x Bovine Ovary pills
2 x Pituitary Glandular pills
2 x Solaray Female Hormone SP7c herbal blend
1 x Wild Yam
After Shower add my nipple cream
After nipple cream and covers on, I massage in the breast enhancement cream
I do a 30 or 40 minute yoga session depending on my time. (Youtube, go to and subscribe to "Yoga with Adriene" its free and fabulous especially the bedtime yoga!)

Each Lunch:
2 x Bovine Ovary pills
1 x Pituitary Glandular pills
2 x Solaray Female Hormone SP7c herbal blend

Mid-Day Protein Smoothie:
1/2 cup cashew or soy milk
2 Tbsp Protein Powder vanilla
2 Tbsp Steel cut oats
2 Tbsp Flax Seed Meal
1 Banana 
Blend all for 3 minutes on high.
Add Favorite Frozen Fruit and blend until thick.

After Dinner:
2 x Bovine Ovary pills
1 x Pituitary Glandular pills
2 x Solaray Female Hormone SP7c herbal blend

Bedtime:
2 x Bovine Ovary pills
2 x Pituitary Glandular pills
2 x Solaray Female Hormone SP7c herbal blend
1 x Wild Yam
I massage in the breast enhancement cream
I perform deep breast massage for 15 min on each breast.
I do 30 minute bedtime yoga "Yoga with Adriene"

Anyway that how I got it all started and what I do day in.. of course I change up the yoga and shakes but everything else is constant and my Dr said I am in aromatase. So that must mean something.

Thanks everyone, I hope you have luck and success... remember it's different with everyone so don't expect the same results as me but I hope you do get them.

I took pictures but I'm a newbie and don't know how to upload them yet but I will! Until then hit me up with any questions! Nite all...

Luv,
Ali

I took a quick read through your post, dont expect your bones to change shape, they become fused as we pass through our first puberty.
Anything under 200pmol/l is classed as menopause levels, so you can excpect some bone loss if you do not take supplements. Ideally, E up and over 300pmol l would  be something to hope for.
Have you let your wife in on this yet, if not its probably something you need to plan for.

Welcome to the forum, and good luck on your journey.
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