[oki]

Connie, hon, don't you know I'm a sucker for being called like this? Oh dear...:D Here you go:

               

They show indeed. How do I manage in public? Sometimes I'm hot and sweating and the bra's about to strangle me dead and I wish I could disappear so I pretend everyone else has disappeared:). But more and more I'm able to enjoy the situations and the attention. Not despite I'm dressed en femme and obviously transitioning but because of it. There are some recurrent situations in which I was always an uptight, serious mask of a man and now I just smile, laugh, talk... An unforseen miracle. 

But I suppose you're after how the public manages me. I don't pass for a woman and the way I'm going out these days I don't pass for a man either so the public has a nut to crack. Most don't react in any apparent way (or are just slightly more reserved) though I've noticed some tendency to avoid gender specific word forms which are more prevalent in Czech than in English. I've encountered some cheerful acceptance, mostly among the younger people of both genders. They seem to be genuinely pleased by me being so boldly different, which is of course a big boon for me. Some elderly ladies watched me with harsh judgment bordering on disgust. Some seem to be ready to burst out in laughter (only kids did so far and I'm usually able to laugh with them:). Sometimes I'm awkward and they feel embarassed and sorry for me, damn, that's the worst:(. The strongest negative reaction so far was the concierge's "(Lockers are) For women only!" with obvious dislike and intention to put me down to my proper place. That fractured my plans to try to introduce myself as a woman that evening right at the door and I run for a glass of wine immediately:D.

I'm probably jumping a gun with these observations and generalizations, because in the summer I pushed it too forcefully and now I'm attempting more "in sync with my feelings" approach for what, 10 days? But I love it and I'm so happy I found the guts to embark on this quest and I do believe in the end all will be good for me.

I could spend the whole day writing about my transition, but I guess the steps and underlying emotions are shared among girls and it has all been said a thousand times before.