[LisaM]

Hi I'm Lisa, I'm from the UK & I'm 58 years old

I suffer from gender dysphoria, I'm hoping that B O will be enough to quell the 'noise' and keep my 22 yr old relationship possible with my wife who is being supportive but only to a limit.

I'm looking for feminization all over, rather than just boobs specifically.

My BO Swansons order should be here in a week or so, and I intend to take this slow and gradual, the first month will be 1 x 250 mg capsule taken first thing AM, along with 1 x sea kelp 2000mg & 1 x milk thistle 4000mg, these are to help body temperature and keep liver healthy.

Month 2 will be 1 x 250 AM  and 1 x 250 PM

Progress or lack of will be recorded and dosage adjusted, but trying to keep it low and slow, I'm in no rush.
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My vital statistics are as follows: (inches)

Height: 5ft 10
Shoe size UK 9 (US11, EU 43)
Neck: 16
Bust: 42 (I have little 'moobs' already, probably an age thing)
Chest: 40
Waist: 35 (32 inch jean waist)
Hips: 38
Upper Thigh: 21.5
Ankle: 9.5
Biceps: 13
Wrist: 6.75
Hand Width: 5

Blood Pressure: 147/81

Weight: 12 stone 9 pounds (177lbs) *
*I have lost weight over the last 4 months in order to remove as much body fat as possible, so when it redistributes it will hopefully go to the right spots. Original weight was 13 Stone 11 pounds (193 lbs)

I'll be eating like a little piggie to try and make some fat to actually relocate

I'm really hoping that B O will work for me, fingers crossed. I need this to work out, not just for me, but my family too.

[Karen Hart]

Welcome Lisa,

I like your proposed regimen and choice of Swanson's BO. Great start.

I doubt that you will need to over-eat to gain weight.
I would recommend waiting a month on stuffing yourself and see how it goes.
It seems like any NBE program does that on it's own.

I will follow your progress with interest! 

Karen 

[LisaM]

We have lift off! The journey begins on 12 Feb 2024 (I might be a teeny bit excited)

6 days after ordering from iHerb, the Swanson B O Ovarium Glandular has been delivered! Wow that was so fast, and no issues with Customs or anything so that's a huge relief.

I'm going to listen to Karen and not start pigging out for a few weeks to just let my body get used to the start of B O. 

Om month 2 when I take 1 capsule AM & 1 PM, when is the best time to take ? I don't know if it will perk me up and make me unable to sleep if I take it too late, so I'm happy to take advise from anyone who's already walked this road before me.

Everything I've read on here, suggests I need food with high protein to help things build.

I've got eggs in, what else can I eat that's good for this?

[LisaM]

OK

We're one week in, nothing significant has happened, although I didn't really expect it to so soon on one capsule.

Had slight testicular discomfort from time to time (slight aching) nothing else.

I've been looking at the project X thread and picked up some things from there, which I'm incorporating.

• Walnuts for 'good' fat and to help inhibit the dreaded DHT (of which I have lots, judging from body hair and lack on the head... (couple of handfuls of walnut halves/day)
  
• Cold pressed Coconut oil, for similar (dissolved into Hot Cappuccino to hide the taste, probably around 1-2 tablespoons/day
  
• Omega 3 fish oil capsule (1000mg) 1/day although I'm not sure if this helps or hinders DHT/Testosterone pickup.
  

I've also found this video on YouTube which is a short but intense workout for butt/thighs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afghBre8NlI&list=FLA8Xx8va8AyrIUK6g-Oxd2g&index=1&t=1s&ab_channel=FitnessBlender

Paging @Lotus for help on the additional supplemnts to make sure it's ok.

[LisaM]

Two weeks and counting.

There's been some changes, and whilst there's nothing measurable, it's certainly 'feelable' it's not just confirmation bias either, my wife also confirmed it.

Pain wise, there's been the odd testicular discomfort, nothing terrible, kind of an aching sensation sporadically, I've had a few mild headaches too,  not sure if that's the BO or the walnuts or just coincidence, again it's nothing awful, but noticeable.

I have bee sting boobs! 

Nipples are constantly erect and a bit sensitive, no pain though or buds/lumps

Mood wise, I'm still somewhat cranky, (wife calls me bitch-tits) but I feel calmer and more at peace with myself and the world.
Emotions are a bit more intense, so the happys are happier, the sads, sadder if that makes sense, it's not off the scale, but I've noticed, albeit with the caveat that I'm very likely to be somewhat hypersensitive to any perceived change.

Libido is still quite high, wondering when it will crash.

Other body changes.
My tummy has always been firm, and any excess weight has been in a hardish lump just below my ribs, the classic pot belly shape. I lost a stone in weight (16 pounds) prior to starting this journey so I didn't really have any male fat placement. I now have a …. not a jelly belly exactly, but the tummy is soft and uhhh wobbly? which is something I've never experienced before. My upper thighs too have become softer and wobblier to the touch.

My butt also feels a bit more... cushion like than ever before.

My scalp has become a little tingly/itchy (I'm assuming that my anti DHT stuff is working) and my hair follicles are responding? But I'm not holding much hope that anything significant will happen as that battle was lost long ago.

Like I said, nothing you can really measure, so I'll hold off from making any new measurement results until at least one month has elapsed.

Regime.
This is currently unchanged, I'm still on 1 BO capsule (250mg) first thing in the morning only, two weeks to go until I add the second one at night, it's nice that already changes have started even on this low dose.

Additional supplements.
I'm eating some (rather a lot really) walnut halves daily for the anti DHT/AA effects and the good protein
1 omega 3 capsule
1 milk thistle (for liver health)
1 kelp tablet for body temp
Coconut oil (probably a good 2-3 Tablespoons over the day) some in coffee/chococino, some massaged directly onto boobs.
1-2 Melatonin tablets just before bed. (When I remember)

I've made another iHerb order as I notice the Swansons stock  keeps going out of stock and can take a while to  come back, so I've got a good 2-3 months worth now to keep me going.

I've added Reishi mushrooms capsules (Swanson) after having a really long read of the Project X thread as the anti AA/DHT properties of those are almost at pharmaceutical level and I want to really blast the AA side to  give the BO the best chance of working well.

Finally, I've ordered some wellsprings serenity cream (100ml airless pump bottle of Wellsprings Serenity premium natural progesterone cream) but I'll hold off using that just yet because I'm hearing conflicting information on when best to start using it,  some say at the start, others say it's more of a 'finisher' so a bit more research needed.

In other news, I've had a bit of a rocky ride relationship wise with my wife so far regarding transitioning, in part due to the time dilation effect. For me it's been literally most of my life, for her, it's been only a few months, and it is a lot to get your head around.
She's being incredibly supportive now, and it's really making such a difference in the difficultness of the journey (God knows its hard enough as it is, but the thought of doing it all by yourself is terrifying)
So that's a huge positive boost and I feel incredibly thankful that she's in my life and I love her to pieces. 

Just last night she surprised me with goodies including a initialled L make up bag, complete with make up in it! and she's forever buying clothes and shoes etc, my wardrobe has grown hugely!

All in all, I'm currently in a very good place, my dysphoria has subsided (as long as no mirrors are in view) progress is being made, and whilst there's still scary stuff in the future, I'm not facing it alone, I think that's a good place to stop todays post.

[Karen Hart]

Hey Lisa,

Nice update! Thanks. Sounds like some things are happening.

The Red Reishi should be a good addition. 

Glad to hear that your wife is being so supportive. However, I would caution you to not push things too much.
If you make it a constant topic of conversation or focus on it too much, you could spoil it all. 
Take it on her terms. Let here lead as much as possible.

As with most of our wives, she could do without this extra complication in her relationship. 
It could get old, real fast. It certainly did in my case.

Looking forward to your one month update.

Karen

[LisaM]

[unnecessary quoting removed]




















----------------------------

Good advice.

We went through all that late last year/into the start of the new year when it came out, endless talking, trans, trans, trans, trans, it was exhausting and upsetting for both of us.
Things are a lot more settled now, and a kind of equilibrium has been reached, where we're both 'ok+' with how things are going and a timeline, and a 'lets take it day by day' viewpoint.

Now I'm being treated as one of the girls, and it's as normalised as it can be at this point with only minimal changes as yet on my body, it's nice and really helps to offset the dysmorphia and other negative stuff a lot.
Overall our relationship seems to be as strong as ever, we've always been great at facing adversary together, Births, deaths, redundancies, divorces, family issues with criminal members, adoptions, you name it, we've battled through. I know I'm very lucky with my choice of life partner and I'm very thankful.

[LisaM]

Week 3 update.

Really just more of the same. I'm waiting for the next iHerb delivery (hopefully the next day or two) then I can introduce the Swanson Reishi to the mix. Beyond that, my wobbly bits are still wobbly  headaches have decreased, as has testicular discomfort largely. I think my body is now used to the initial dose of everything and next week I'll be doubling up on the BO so first and last thing each day, along with the Reishi. 
I'm still not clear on the best timings for effect on that, despite reading all of the Project X thread (wow it's long isn't it) so I know how T builds up and the importance of 4 hr cycles etc, just not things like should I take the Reishi 1/2-1 hr before the BO or not, or if it even matters.

I'll do some 'One month in' measurements next week and we'll see what if anything has changed there. Realistically I'm not expecting to see much, it has only been three weeks after all.

In other news, I'm trying out some Cyperus Rotundus oil for hair removal, but that's all detailed here: Cyperus Rotundus Hair Removal

Roll on week 4

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Edited to Add

The iHerb delivery came through today, (they're so good, provided they have in stock what you need, only a week from order to delivery) so I'm starting the Reishi additions on week 3, I should know by the start of week 4 if I have any adverse reaction (I haven't heard of anyone who has though)

[LisaM]

Week 4 Results/Update

Well, I've got to the 4 week/1 month point.

A lot of these observations will be subjective but I felt worth putting down anyway for the record
I also need to be mindful that it's only been 4 weeks on a single 250 mg BO capsule.

• Skin may be softer, hard to tell really as it was already fairly soft.
• Sweat smell doesn't seem so 'musky' but my sense of smell is skewed since I had Covid last year.
• My bust and butt 'feel' bigger/squishier, and my upper thighs and even my arms are definitely not unyieldingly 'solid' like they always have been, tummy too is softer/wobblier.
• I've not had any real discomfort this week anywhere, a few faint headaches now and again and that's it. Libido is still high but has diminished a little.
• It's noticeably harder to get and to keep an erection now, the reishi must be starting to work. Orgasm feels different, more waves emanating outwards rather than just focused on the penis like a typical male orgasm, it's difficult to define and explain, so I'll leave it for now at 'different' to how it's always been.

Weeks 1 - 4 were really intended to act as a 'will I have an adverse reaction to these new organics I'm introducing my body to' rather than a 'how much progress can I make in 4 weeks?' although human nature does makes it a bit of that too, after all you want to see that the work you're putting in is paying off.

Hard numbers:
New weights/dimensions

Height: 5ft 10
Shoe size UK 9 (US11, EU 43)
Neck: 16
Bust: 42 (I have little 'moobs' already, probably an age thing)
Chest: 39 (-1)
Waist: 36 (32-inch jean waist) (+1)
Hips: 38
Upper Thigh: 22 (+0.5)
Ankle: 8.5 (-1)
Biceps: 12.5 (-0.5)
Wrist: 6.5 (-0.25)
Hand Width: 5

Weight: 12 stone 11 pounds [179lbs] (+2 lb)
Blood pressure: 122/83

Numbers don't lie, and this is the reality of how things are as measured. I'm a little bit disappointed but I'm trying really hard to remember that it only has been 4 weeks to date and it's a marathon rather than a sprint.

I'm still wearing a bit more clothing than I would normally to try and keep my body temperature in the 'BO working good' range.
A few hrs later, I have coconut oil in my coffee/chocohino (1 teas spoon)
Handful of walnuts (repeat through the day, so likely around 3-4 tea spoons worth of Coconut oil, say 20 or so walnut halves)
I'm trying to avoid sugary foods to offset insulin spikes, eating lots of protein like eggs etc. I probably need to eat a bit more to gain some weight.
I'm hoping that the reishi now added to the mix from week 3 onwards will really make a difference with acting as an anti-androgen/DHT zapper, perhaps this coupled with the next stage increase in BO will see some results appearing for the month 2 stage.
My head is generally in a good place, although I'm very anxious about socially transitioning later this year* (especially to the kids, which will likely be in the school summer holidays)
* Timing dependent on visible appearance/growth

One month in and now that I'm doing it, I can now appreciate the siren call where other people doing this have just gone nuts and started increasing dosages way too fast thinking more = more results.
Patience is a difficult commodity to grasp where being hyper focussed on every little change you really want to see some tangible results in a short timeframe. However, I'm sticking to my original game plan of going slowly and seeing best results for minimal amounts of substances, with that in mind from week 5 to week 8 it will go like this:

Month 2 Regime:

AM (first thing on an empty stomach.)
1 x Swanson Ovarian Glandular BO capsule (250 mg)
1 x Swanson reishi capsule (600 mg)
1 x sea kelp tablet (2,000 mg)
1 x milk thistle tablet (4,000mg)
1 x omega 3 fish oil capsule (1,000mg)

PM (last thing)
1 x Swanson Ovarian Glandular BO capsule (250 mg)
1 x Swanson reishi capsule (600 mg)
2 x meletonin pills

Incidental things

After reading through threads like the Project X one, I’m using coconut oil on my butt, hips and breasts.
Following the Lotus method of massage on breasts (it's not always easy to find the time to do this as well as I really should, but I guess it all helps.
Applying Cyperus Rotundus tincture onto my throat/neck, chest, armpits twice a day via atomiser (hair reduction method) to see if this means I can get to the point where I won't need to shave those areas to be hair-free there. This takes a few months to work (assuming this is the right stuff) so the juries out on that, but I'll persevere and see how things go moving forward.
I'll try harder to eat more, it's a bit difficult switching from the 'lose weight' mindset to 'eat like a piggie, get some fat redistribution' mindset, I really don't want to get poor gains by not eating enough. I also don't want to have to get a bigger wardrobe either! decisions, decisions LOL.
I really must try harder to follow the 5 min exercise regime for butt/thighs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afghBre8NlI&list=FLA8Xx8va8AyrIUK6g-Oxd2g&index=1&t=1s&ab_channel=FitnessBlender and also some more planks for core/tummy fitness, I'm guilty of being a bit slack with this.
The same with massaging, I have a fairly busy household and getting the time/privacy can be hard.

Month 2 here we come!

[LisaM]

Seeing as this is a journal of my progress while transitioning on BO it's important that I detail everything - including the more unpleasant aspects, in fact, especially the more unpleasant aspects.
So far, the journey has been pretty nice, lots of euphoria, lots of new things (shopping!) much more support and love from my family than I had ever dreamed possible.
When things are like that, you start to think that there's light at the end of the tunnel and that things might just work out ok after all, you use these experiences and feelings to put on like a suit of armour. And you feel generally good with the world and yourself.

So, when dysphoria hits hard, it's doubly devastating as your suit of armour is torn asunder like a house of cards.
Trans people will most likely be all too familiar with these feelings and it's really hard to let go of them and think kinder things about yourself. I'm generally a fairly upbeat happy-go-lucky personality type, but I do bruise easily and can dwell on dark thoughts when dysphoria hits hard.

The elephant in the room for me (for now) is the fact that I'm 58 years old, so there's been a LOT of time for Testosterone to work on me, and whilst in some respects I'm lucky in that I'm modestly proportioned and don't look like a heavyweight boxer or rugby player I do have some BIG (to me) issues that make me feel passing is an impossibility.
Unfortunately, I weas cursed with male hair loss and have been mostly bald since my mid 30's so I'm resigned to having to wear a wig. I get this, and I understand it albeit I'm unhappy about it. Work with what you've got right?

Ok so far, I have only tried on a couple of cheapy wigs from the likes of Shein, really to get an idea of what shape/length/colour/ style might work. The thing is when you look in the mirror and you just look like obviously a man wearing a bad wig it's soul crushing and really upsetting.

The silly thing is that I know I'm only 5 weeks into taking BO and there's only been minimal changes, even if I'd been on Estrogen, at this point the changes wouldn't be any more. Dysphoria though isn't rational and I find the cruellest hardest meanest thing to a trans person is likely themselves.

So, yea, I'm feeling pretty miserable and despairing right now and I know I'm silly for feeling it, it’s really difficult to pull yourself back out of the hole once you fall in it. My wife has been so very supportive which is lovely, but I just wanted to put something down on paper to reflect this particular moment in time on the journey.
I see there's a reasonable number of views on my thread, but very few replies so I wonder if perhaps my writing style might be putting people off or something.