05-01-2016, 03:01 PM
Hi
its called hormone balancing
Julie
its called hormone balancing
Julie
(16-12-2015, 06:47 PM)Katie Wrote: Where do I start!?
I`m nearly 50 and born "Male", happily married with 2 lovely kids
I`v been reading here for a few weeks now, and other places around the interwebs for a few weeks before that, I guess you can say when I found here I kinda decided to stay put.
I work from home and make my own silver jewelery all by hand fron silver granules and melt and roll my own wire and sheets, and form them into as a pretty a design as I can, my job is as masculine and Feminine at the same time as it can possibly get! LOL
I`v also taken that Hemmingway SAGE test and scored 670, and the gist was that my brain is predominatly female, and it thought I was a post op Female (this is not true however, the whole post op thingy).
I`v never taken any hormones before (knowingly) either.
to cut a seriously long story a bit shorter, my Wife also has Bi tendancies and has No problem with me being Katie!
Her SAGE score was 370 something, and that`s about right as she is for the most part the most Masculine of the 2 of us.
I`v always known something wasn`t quite "Right" with me, and had thoughts that made me feel great, that were not shared by anyone else that was a normal male or indeed society in general.
not Many of these thoughts, but enough to be noticable, combined with the fact of utter disbelief that I`v always felt every time I look in the mirror, like that is NOT ME, that`s NOT what I look like inside!
and as for spontainious erections as a teen, that was the total WORST period of my entire life
don`t get me wrong, I don`t mind having my male bits at all, we Both enjoy them, but back Then it was serious trauma!
I have no ambitions of full transformation and/or surgery, but I see that now most all my Male job is Done, and so I want to let Katie out and take over a bit (or even a Lot). I Owe her that.
I did some cross dressing in my early 20s (other than the wearing stuff as little kid at about 4 or 5) and really liked it, it didn`t seem a sexual thing per se, but I tried to rationalise it and even figured it may just be a case of Boy meets Girl, Boy loses Girl, Boy makes new Girl!
but that didn`t occur to me until After I got another girlfriend and the CD feelings stopped.
now some 20+ years later and of course 18 years married, these feelings are Back again with some Serious Intent!!!!!
I wish I could say I knew why, but the best I can I can say is that it mostly started when I had to Think about making pretty things that a woman would wear and Want to wear, then there was almost a tangible disscusion being had inside my head, and it felt great when "She" was around.
I bought her some shoes and clothes, and listened to her advice (that did not come from me) about how to repair my hands and nails (they were Disgusting before and had ZERO finger prints right up to the 3`rd joint on some fingers!), now they look Great (or at least Human again) and dare I say even a little bit feminine now with the longer nails and clear nail varnish.
but I digress...
cutting to the chase, I`v bought 4x 250mg x60 of the bovine ovary, and a bottle of 500mg PM x100 tabs, and awaiting their arrival any day now
the PM purchase was somewhat of an afterthought and inspired by You lot on here
I was going to go hell for leather and say frak the consequences and just go for the full bio conversion, but after reading I think I`ll try the PM first and see if I can get some more perspective on how I feel after a few weeks of that.
I already cry at the drop of hat, esp this time of year when I hear a lovely Christmas carol that I`v not heard since I was little, but really anything can be a trigger for me lately, since I acknowledged "her".
there`s more to tell obviously (isn`t there for ALL of us!?), but I`ll shut up for now because I feel like I`m rambling again.
and by the way, having read most from all of you, you may consider each and every one of you HUGGED with as much love as I can offer!
and yes I`m also a Christian and God doesn`t make mistakes!