[CM213]

Pooky

You don't need to apologize to me at all I'm not offended or hurt in any way. I'm glad your wife is as supporting as she is. but you said it some spouses are supporting and some spouses aren't it's not your fault that mine isn't and there's nothing you or I could do to change it. it's going to be self growth on her own part, only she can do that work. 

Do I hope she comes around yes. Will she who knows. Will it be devastating if she decides she wants a divorce. Of course. But that's all on her. I can say I tried, and she will be losing the best person she's ever been in a relationship with and again that's on her if she ultimately decides that is the way she what to go. 

So don't be sorry. It's an unfortunate situation yes but it is a very common one. It gives me joy to read about your supportive spouse, and gives me hope for the future

[Pooky]

Cm213

Thanks for being understanding.

Food for thought, maybe a transgender affirming therapist could talk to the both of you, maybe at the same time.  

I hate to see anyone go through what we are going through, especially when some parts are so beautiful, without the support of their spouse.

Thank you for your comments about my wife I’m so luck, sometimes when I think of her it makes cry. Guess it’s the hormones working.

Good luck,

Pooky

[CM213]

We def are looking into therapy. I feel we have more issues than just me being trans. I suggested that for our search we should try to find one that also has experience with couples where one spouse is trans or is going through some form of transition since it would most likely come out in therapy. She did not seem too interested or enthusiastic about me making a suggestion that we find a therapist that can also do that along with reg  marriage consoling. She felt that me being trans would be the fo front and cast a shadow on everything else.... So pretty much she wants to ignore it and not deal with it and all the emotions she has from it. 

I myself am going to continue my own one on one sessions with my gender identity specific therapist. My hope is to get everything j need in order to move forward with a transition if I wanted to. Like support letters etc. 

Hopefully after that I can take those to the VA and hopefully they will use them so I don't have to start over with mental health evaluations with a VA therapist.

[Pooky]

Cm213

Some way the wife will have to address the elephant in the room.  Being like an ostrich and sticking your head in the sand does not make the problem go away.  I’m not a mental health professional but I know not addressing problems lead to divorce.  I have been through that before.

My wife and I made a agreement before we married that we would never go to bed at night with out
resolving the problem in front of us and go to bed mad.  Let me tell you it’s the best agreement I ever made.

Good Luck,

Pooky